TheBanyanTree: Bad Pizza

[Spoonoid at cs.com]

Spoonoids:

    Lunchtime. While looking in the refrigerator for something to eat, I 
found a pizza in the freezer. Buried in the bottom, way in the back. Well, 
that should hit the spot. I haven't had a pizza for ages. 
    I pulled a steak knife out of the drawer to poke a hole in the cellophane 
wrapper. You can't just open packages with your teeth and fingernails 
anymore. Once the pizza was unwrapped on the counter, I noticed it didn't 
look quite right.  The round slices of pepperoni were not nice and red, but 
kind of gray and tan.  I think this is an *old* pizza. But, hey, I'm going to 
cook it at 400 degrees for 18 minutes, so if the meat is bad, at least it 
will be sterilized. Maybe it won't taste good but it shouldn't make me sick. 
But then, why take a chance?
    I consulted with Chef Princess. 
    "Throw it in the trash and cook a hotdog," she said. 
    "Yeah, but I'm going to cook it at 400 degrees for 18 minutes, so . . . ."
    "Trash. I'm not driving you to emergency to have your stomach pumped this 
afternoon, Sweetheart. Have a hotdog instead."
    So I cooked two hotdogs, added pickle relish and ketchup in a bun, and 
had a glass of beer. It was a satisfying lunch, but it wasn't PIZZA.
    Now I have never learned anything much about cooking. If it weren't for 
the Princess, I would have inadvertently poisoned myself, or starved to death 
years ago. I do know how to boil hotdogs and how to pop a frozen pizza in the 
oven for 18 minutes, but that's about it.  

    So now I ask all of you experienced cooks and healthcare professionals in 
The Tree, what's the story on cooking bad meat?  Will it make you sick or 
just taste bad? What's the biochemistry for an upset tummy?

Later, John.  



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