TheBanyanTree: Heartstone

[LaLinda]

No, it's not just you. I was seeing a psychiatrist right after Stephen was
born, and I'm giving you the RDV. I asked him how many ppl our generation
they'd found had been sexually abused, as children, in every way. He said,

"All of the data is not all in yet, but it looks like FORTY-FIVE PERCENT."

Forty-five percent, and I'm not even counting the sexual assaults as an
adult. We were both aghast or agog or whatever.

Anyway, it makes us different, in how we feel and react, etc., but it
doesn't make us less worthy.

LaLinda

On Fri, Feb 4, 2022 at 1:30 PM Laura via TheBanyanTree <
thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com> wrote:

> Tobie, this made me tear up a bit. Not because it hurt me, but because
> it made me feel good. Perhaps you're right. Perhaps there is a tiny
> piece of that shiny stone still cowering in the center of the carapace.
> Not that I'll ever take it out and show it around; it might get damaged
> again, so it will stay safe and hidden.
>
> I'm always surprised when others say they've experienced the same or
> similar. I don't know why. I'm not shocked, just surprised. I used to
> think it was just me, that I somehow deserved it because I wasn't a good
> enough person. I threw that thought off decades ago, but still sometimes
> hear that tiny voice: "...if you hadn't done {whatever}, maybe they
> wouldn't have treated you like that..." at which point tiny voice gets
> slapped down and shut behind door number three.  I finally realized that
> it wasn't just me, that it was, apparently, the human condition. I think
> most people have suffered trauma at the hands of other people. People
> who have NOT suffered seem to be the rarity. And yes, Tom, it is sad.
> Social/legal/political are all the same thing, social. Legal and
> political are mirrors of the society in which they are composed.
>
> Sad, but true.
>
> Laura
> wolfljsh at gmail.com
>
> On 2/3/2022 2:27:59 PM, "tobie--- via TheBanyanTree"
> <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com> wrote:
>
> >That you survived all that is miraculous. I hear the insistence of the
> wounds inflicted. Over the years I’ve read what you write and I can’t
> believe that you’re all so hardened and dark at the center as you think.
> It’s just that the softer the center, the harder the carapace must be to
> protect it. You say you have your partner who loves you and has never
> betrayed you. He must see you clearly, more clearly than you see yourself.
> Trust his vision. You still shine through — bright, honest,
> kind.remsset.com/listinfo.cgi/thebanyantree-remsset.com <
> http://lists.remsset.com/listinfo.cgi/thebanyantree-remsset.com>
>
>
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