TheBanyanTree: Heartstone

Fri Feb 4 10:06:26 PST 2022

Ooo ooo oo LaLinda Linda Linda, and all who take note,

	You couldn’t find me on Facebook because I’m not on Facebook. I was on it for one hour about thirteen years ago or something. Then a flood of people from High School and worse somehow found out I was there. Many were the ones I remembered as having caused me pain, lots of it, (back then, it was far easier to cause me pain), but most of them were people I hadn’t thought about since High School and had nothing but the location in time in common. I realized one could spend all their waking hours making small talk, getting enmeshed with total strangers who honestly didn’t care about me until they recognized a name, and wouldn’t care about me if I disappeared. I thought —— I actually have a life. I’m taking care of my mother, my daughter, my son and my dying boyfriend. Do I really want to dive into this? I may have wavered because, well, contact is contact and I was already sheltering in place because I needed hired baby sitters to come if I wanted to step outside to do the household shopping or just walk around the block. And THEN I got a notice from Facebook about their "privacy policy" which was non existent, but worded so deftly it made my hair stand on end (I had more of it then).  That got me fleeing from Facebook so fast the pixels broke.

	Then years later there was this unfortunate involvement with helping Trump get elected. So my decision was reinforced a thousand fold. Not sorry. Don’t miss it. 

I don’t like them.

	Consider yourself friended if that’s the operating verb for "hello I like and respect you"

	People who want to get hold of me write via email, or they call me, or they come out on their front porches and yell. 

I know.  Not on Facebook????????  I also don’t have a "smart" phone. Yeah, I know someday I’ll probably have to if I want to enter the 22nd century, but for now, I’m okay not spending half my day texting. I also don’t get a lot of spam and junk calls on my old measly flip phone.

And now I’m going to go out and kill a few beasts so Meyshe and I can have fur on our backs. This cave gets really cold.

Love,

Tobie

> On Feb 4, 2022, at 1:48 AM, LaLinda via TheBanyanTree <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com> wrote:
> 
> Tobie Helene Shapiro, I did try to lick you on Facebook, but I couldn't
> find you, I guess you'll have to friend request me.
> 
> On Thu, Feb 3, 2022 at 2:28 PM tobie--- via TheBanyanTree <
> thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com> wrote:
> 
>> Oh Laura!
>> 
>>        You are not, absolutely not, alone. Having no voice as a child,
>> that institutionalized impotence. Who would believe you? And then there’s
>> the fear of destroying what little stability you have. That stability is a
>> chimera of course. It’s just that we knew the suffering. A known substance,
>> even horrible, provides some kind of anchor. Terrible terrible to have only
>> abuse to lean on as a given. Each time: well, the world did not come apart.
>> I’m still alive. There is a routine, and food in the fridge. Better shut
>> up.  Why do we know to keep these secrets?
>> 
>>        My mantra growing up (if that’s what I did) was, "I will never
>> turn into that. I will keep my heart loving and warm." That didn’t mean my
>> heart was open. Too dangerous. That you survived all that is miraculous. I
>> hear the insistence of the wounds inflicted. Over the years I’ve read what
>> you write and I can’t believe that you’re all so hardened and dark at the
>> center as you think. It’s just that the softer the center, the harder the
>> carapace must be to protect it. You say you have your partner who loves you
>> and has never betrayed you. He must see you clearly, more clearly than you
>> see yourself. Trust his vision. You still shine through — bright, honest,
>> kind.
>> 
>> Tobie
>> 
>> 
>>> On Feb 3, 2022, at 9:24 AM, dale.m.parish--- via TheBanyanTree <
>> thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Laura rote:
>>>> The day I spent hours trying to do something to make my father happy,
>> to get him to do something besides humiliate me, to notice me, to praise my
>> efforts.
>>> 
>>> Until my mother came to me and told me she was divorcing my father
>> because of his alcoholism, I couldn't understand it, either.  It finally
>> dawned on me that it was his problem, and not really mine.  But it took
>> years to really internalize it and get over it.
>>> 
>>> That took guts, Laura.  Thanks for sharing, reminding us.
>>> 
>>> Hugs,
>>> Dale
>>> --
>>> Dale M. Parish                        For All Of Mankind'S Supposed
>> Accomplishments,
>>> 628 Parish RD                 Our Continued Existence Is Dependent Upon
>> 20
>>> Orange TX 77632-0264          Centimeters Of Topsoil And The Fact That
>> It Rains.
>>> Dale.M.Parish at gmail.com                       --Toilet Stall Wall
>>> 409-790-2352
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
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>> 
>> Please lick me on Facebook              THS 2016
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Tobie Shapiro
>> mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net <mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net>
>> 
>> Need to change your name, email address, or password? Or have you
>> forgotten your password? Go here:
>> http://lists.remsset.com/listinfo.cgi/thebanyantree-remsset.com
> 
> 
> 
> -- 
> 
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> v^\/  ^-,-^   ^,-v^
> ^v    '-^    ^-,   ^v
> v^v^  v^  v^  v   ^v^
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>                                                  ----
> 
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"Perfection is an illusion."
Meyshe Benyomen Shapiro-Nygren

Tobie Shapiro
mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net <mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net>