TheBanyanTree: Stories

[Jim Miller]

So....... I'm thinking; wer'e on the same page.

Now, I'm really sorry. :)

On Monday, December 9, 2013, Monique Colver <monique.colver at gmail.com>
wrote:
> No, I don't feel sorry for you. I don't feel sorry for anyone. What I said
> was, "I'm sorry you had to go through that," which isn't the same thing as
> feeling sorry for you. We've all had painful life experiences. I wrote a
> book about it. Some people know that about me, and some don't.
>
> I know a really really nice person, and I avoid her. She's so nice that I
> can't stand it, because if she knows that I'm in pain, which I sometimes
> am, she gets the saddest puppy dog look at on her face, as if someone had
> just stamped on her ant farm. It makes me want to scream. Once we were at
a
> conference, and I was limping around because at the time my knee was
acting
> up. Every time I saw her, which was every hour or so, depending, she'd
look
> at me with those big sad eyes and ask, "Is it better yet?"
>
> Finally I had to say, "Please stop asking me that -- it's just bad, and
> it's not getting better for awhile, especially since I'm running around
the
> conference on it."
>
> I don't feel sorry for people, I only express a version of empathy that
> they had to experience it, which some people take badly.
>
> I'm sorry.
>
> I won't do it again.
>
> Really.
>
> I'm very sorry.
>
> So, so, sorry.
>
> You have no idea.
>
> Really.
>
> :-)
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *We appreciate your referrals!*
>
> Monique Colver
> Colver Business Solutions
> www.colverbusinesssolutions.com
> monique.colver at gmail.com
> (425) 772-6218
>
>
> On Mon, Dec 9, 2013 at 6:51 PM, Jim Miller <jim at maze.cc> wrote:
>
>> I chuckle when you say that people tell you things. That happens to
Linda.
>> Especially men talk to her and confess all the desperation in their
lives.
>> She wants to tell them to please, just shut up. I don't want to know
this.
>> I don't need to know this. But being the gracious person that she it, she
>> listens and nods.
>>
>> To all: I would ask a favor. Never be sorry for me because I had a life
>> experience. Life is difficult at best. For me, any challenge is an
>> opportunity to learn and grow. I consider them my adventures, and welcome
>> the next one. An occasional break would be nice.
>>
>> I recognize that many revel and thrive in sympathy from others. It almost
>> defines them. Until just recently, I have been devoid of empathy,
because I
>> believed that I was responsible for the person I am. therefore, I am
>> responsible for my failures regardless of the source. Why aren't others?
>> I'm slowly changing me. I can have empathy.
>>
>> I believe that being sorry for me is sympathy. I don't want sympathy.
>> Empathy is the ability to understand the difficulty that I am
experiencing.
>> I can't trust sympathy, but if you show empathy, I know that you are
there
>> to listen if I need to talk.
>>
>> I know this is simplistic, just PLEASE, never be sorry for me. Protect
the
>> vulnerable, help the destitute and desperate. I will stand with you
until I
>> can no longer stand. Just don't be sorry for me.
>>
>> Jim
>>
>>
>> On Mon, Dec 9, 2013 at 5:53 PM, Monique Colver <monique.colver at gmail.com
>> >wrote:
>>
>> > You think I would be surprised? I would not be surprised at all --
people
>> > tell me a lot of things. People tell me horrendous stories, but not
>> because
>> > I'm a stranger. I don't know why they tell me.
>> >
>> > None of us are the same as we were three years ago. I'm barely the same
>> > person I was three hours ago. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and
>> > especially for your grandchildren. I know so many children going
through
>> > similar things right now, and so many who have, and sometimes I think
>> it's
>> > a wonder any of us survive.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > *We appreciate your referrals!*
>> >
>> > Monique Colver
>> > Colver Business Solutions
>> > www.colverbusinesssolutions.com
>> > monique.colver at gmail.com
>> > (425) 772-6218
>> >
>>
>