TheBanyanTree: I Have Issues

[Monique Colver]

That's why I love you.

I'm aging well, for someone of my age. But I'm aging badly, for someone of
my age. Whatever. It's so much better being me now than it was being me
then.

I don't worry about losing my mind at all -- perhaps because no one in my
family has yet, but that may be because we came equipped with lost minds to
begin with.

I don't fear the downward spiral to death, maybe a bit, because I've been
at the bedside of some that didn't go so well, but I'm far from that, so it
would be like worrying about the zombie apocalypse, which I worry far more
about.

I worry more about being useless, not getting done the things I want to get
done, not having made any difference to anyone.

But I don't worry about it a lot most days.

M



M


*We appreciate your referrals!*

Monique Colver
Colver Business Solutions
www.colverbusinesssolutions.com
monique.colver at gmail.com
(425) 772-6218


On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 1:39 PM, Laura Hicks <wolfljsh at gmail.com> wrote:

> On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 4:17 AM, Janice Money <pmon3694 at bigpond.net.au
> >wrote:
>
> > So this really nice, friendly fellow asked
> > me my age and, for the first time, I had to say it out loud.  It came out
> > easily enough but then I started to feel an odd feeling that I can't
> really
> > describe without feeling odd all over again.  Disgust?  What's there to
> be
> > disgusted about in being my age?  Disbelief?  What reason do I have to
> > disbelieve it?  Maybe it's just that I've arrived at what always seemed
> so
> > far off, that my body has become what I don't want it to be - old,
> > unreliable, wrinkly - and the proof is in that number.
> >
>
> This is one issue I don't suffer with. Yeah, I have issues, I guess
> everyone does, but aging is not one of them. No, I don't like that I can
> either see far away OR up close, but not both. I don't like that every time
> I try to pick something up with my right hand, my arm goes numb (something
> snapped when I was pushing the lawn mower back in September and instead of
> getting better, it's getting worse). I don't like that, while I still have
> all my parts, there are chunks missing from some of them, which impairs
> their function. But I don't mind getting old. It's all part of the
> experience. I think folks who deny their age are missing out on an amazing
> part of life.
>
> I've always relished each stage of life. I enjoyed being a young adult,
> with the challenges to be faced. I loved being half of a young married
> couple. I loved being a working woman, bringing in the majority of the
> family income. I loved being a new mom, a stay-at-home mom, a mom of young
> children, a mom of teens, and now, a mom of grown kids. I loved having my
> kids with me 24/7, but I also love having them gone - one in the dorm all
> week, and one married and in his own home. And now I love being a "retired"
> mom/teacher turned house frau.
>
> I turned 50 this year, and I was so, SO proud of myself! I lived to be
> 50!!!! Amazing!! I'm excited about this next stage of life, this "old age"
> thing. I really don't mind the wrinkles, the saggy skin, the grey hair, the
> ubiquitous little skin growths and spots, even the stiff joints. I'm not
> thrilled about the aches and pains, but they are there to be experienced
> and savored. They prove to the world that I got out there and lived, that I
> was a participant in life, not just a pickled, stuffed specimen, watching
> from a jar on the shelf. I don't like the idea that I might lose my mind,
> and that others might be burdened with my care, that worries me a bit. I'm
> hoping I'll die before that happens. I worry that I might end up with some
> condition which would cause me to be in pain all the time, I'd rather avoid
> that as well. Again, I hope I die before that happens.
>
> I don't fear death, or even the inevitable downward spiral leading there.
> Death is just another stage of life. Either there is something else after
> this life, a whole new stage to experience with joy and wonder, or there is
> nothing, in which case I won't notice my lack of self. So what's to fear?
>
> Bring on the issues!
>
> Laura
> wolfljsh at gmail.com
>