TheBanyanTree: bittersweet

[NancyIee at aol.com]

I read your post today, because I can  usually relate in some way what you 
reveal. We old hippies/flower children,  marches for free love etal, are the 
"coming of age" group in today's "new  realizations" that the world is not 
a perfect place. There are still crimes  against nations,  wars,  crimes 
against those who are different, those  who rule . . .
 
We are closing in on being ancient. If that  means wiser, we can only hope. 
I see the new generation finding love in all the  wrong places, seeking 
freedom from parents and the "same old", standing up for  their causes, trying 
to change the world. Just as we did.
 
It changes.  Sometimes for the  worst.  Once in awhile, it changes for the 
better. We still segregate and  discriminate. It was blacks once, Now it's 
gays and Hispanics. Greed is greed,  cheating continues, intolerance is the 
mold that darkens  civilization.
 
Yet, from my aging perspective (and perhaps  I no longer quibble over the 
little stuff) I have learned that I can change the  world . .and, so I did.  
I have changed the world within. I have learned  acceptance, tolerance, 
leaving alone the  lives of others, and not being  mean or quoting scripture to 
point out the errors or their way. I accept them  for who they are. They are 
friends or not, because of their interests,  similarities  or differences 
to my way of thinking, or just because I am  curious. I have a growing 
interest in other languages and customs, in the  history of their lives, in where 
we might be tomorrow. I have learned  that peace is easier than battling. 
And, that the more daring than I, the  circus people, the modern gypsies, 
rodeo folk,  the odd artists and  writers, the weirdos, offer me insight into 
adventures I would never think to  try for myself.
 
I have changed the world. I have changed  myself.  My writing and my art is 
different, and my perception of the world  is 150 degrees of where I 
started in my rebellious youth. Yes,we still have iffy  leaders and scandalous 
goings on. We still have wars and hate and  intolerance.  But, not in my 
corner. I have changed the world, one acre at  a time, one work of art at a time, 
one story or article at a time,  one  ancient at a time. And, if they pay 
attention, my children might have a head  start on changing their own acre. My 
grandchildren might do more. Maybe, Maybe  not. But, this is my turn and 
your turn. They will have their turn in awhile. If  you and I can change one 
little thing, that's perhaps all we can  do.
 
 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,  russ.doden at gmail.com writes:

I'm  sharing some thoughts with you today simply because you accept me for
what  I am - freak or sage, angel or lost wanderer, teacher or student, wise
man  or fool.  I appreciate that you accept me for whatever I am -  however
you see me.

A little while ago a friend loaned me a set of  "The Folk Years" CD's and
some other CD's for me to copy.  I haven't  had a chance to listen to them
or anything until today.  I decided to  listen to them today before deciding
if I wanted to copy them or  not.

I find I'm having a strange feeling listening to them.  It is  bittersweet.
I'm enjoying them so very much and WILL be copying them but it  will take
some time - after all there are a lot of discs there!  The  bittersweet
feeling is coming from a feeling of a "lost sense of innocence"  of the
era.  Back then, many of us thought we could change so much -  and nothing
much has changed at all.  The "new age" people are still  working for the
same changes the "hippies" of the era were working for  then.  People that
are "Spiritual" from whatever path they follow -  Religion or whatever their
path may be, are seeking the same things now as  then - compassion and
harmony, tolerance and acceptance, and above all  peace and universal love.

I wanted to shed my mask back then and join  the movement - but was afraid
to do so.  I quietly tried to be like  everyone else instead - and failed
miserably.  And here I am today -  with my mask laying by the wayside,
filled with tears and scars.  I'm  older and wiser, but still wanting to
change the world - or at least my  perception of it.  I have returned to and
even exceeded my "sense" of  "being connected to all things" that was
abraded from me by  "responsibilities and duty" as well as trying to "fit in
and be like  everyone else."  I was afraid to claim that sense of truly
being  willing to be seen as being different then - and now it is worn like
a  badge of honor.

Some of us back then had hopes and dreams of changing  so much - and so many
of us have become disillusioned - and so many are  rediscovering their
dreams - and being joined by newer generations that are  saying the same
things now that we said then - Give Peace a Chance; All you  need is Love;
only the words are different - the feeling is the  same.

So, today I won't be productive - at least not in the  conventional sense.
Instead I'll be mentally wearing my tie dye shirt and  polka dot cuffed
pants (yes I have a pair of pants like that - I had a  friend of mine
"repair" a pair of pants with seriously frayed pants and  asked her to use
some wild polka dotted material) but only because it is  too cool out to
wear them physically.  When I go out now, there are  times I'm the sage and
teacher, the wise one and the elder, the  professional and wildly successful
"new age consultant".  There are  also times I'm the proud freak that has
been hiding inside for so long -  peeking out through the mask - only now
the mask is gone most of the time -  and when it is worn, it is a different
mask - one that is much more  transparent.

The words for a song come to mind - "Freedom is just  another word for
nuthin left to lose."  For me that doesn't mean  "things" but rather
"expectations" and coloring inside the  lines.

Thanks for listening.

Russ
-- 
Enjoy Life By Living  In Joy

Well Being  Consultant
www.rldwbc.com