TheBanyanTree: bittersweet

[Jodene]

Thanks for that, Russ.  Boy, do I identify!

Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 7, 2012, at 12:32 PM, Russ Doden <russ.doden at gmail.com> wrote:

> I'm sharing some thoughts with you today simply because you accept  
> me for
> what I am - freak or sage, angel or lost wanderer, teacher or  
> student, wise
> man or fool.  I appreciate that you accept me for whatever I am -  
> however
> you see me.
>
> A little while ago a friend loaned me a set of "The Folk Years" CD's  
> and
> some other CD's for me to copy.  I haven't had a chance to listen to  
> them
> or anything until today.  I decided to listen to them today before  
> deciding
> if I wanted to copy them or not.
>
> I find I'm having a strange feeling listening to them.  It is  
> bittersweet.
> I'm enjoying them so very much and WILL be copying them but it will  
> take
> some time - after all there are a lot of discs there!  The bittersweet
> feeling is coming from a feeling of a "lost sense of innocence" of the
> era.  Back then, many of us thought we could change so much - and  
> nothing
> much has changed at all.  The "new age" people are still working for  
> the
> same changes the "hippies" of the era were working for then.  People  
> that
> are "Spiritual" from whatever path they follow - Religion or  
> whatever their
> path may be, are seeking the same things now as then - compassion and
> harmony, tolerance and acceptance, and above all peace and universal  
> love.
>
> I wanted to shed my mask back then and join the movement - but was  
> afraid
> to do so.  I quietly tried to be like everyone else instead - and  
> failed
> miserably.  And here I am today - with my mask laying by the wayside,
> filled with tears and scars.  I'm older and wiser, but still wanting  
> to
> change the world - or at least my perception of it.  I have returned  
> to and
> even exceeded my "sense" of "being connected to all things" that was
> abraded from me by "responsibilities and duty" as well as trying to  
> "fit in
> and be like everyone else."  I was afraid to claim that sense of truly
> being willing to be seen as being different then - and now it is  
> worn like
> a badge of honor.
>
> Some of us back then had hopes and dreams of changing so much - and  
> so many
> of us have become disillusioned - and so many are rediscovering their
> dreams - and being joined by newer generations that are saying the  
> same
> things now that we said then - Give Peace a Chance; All you need is  
> Love;
> only the words are different - the feeling is the same.
>
> So, today I won't be productive - at least not in the conventional  
> sense.
> Instead I'll be mentally wearing my tie dye shirt and polka dot cuffed
> pants (yes I have a pair of pants like that - I had a friend of mine
> "repair" a pair of pants with seriously frayed pants and asked her  
> to use
> some wild polka dotted material) but only because it is too cool out  
> to
> wear them physically.  When I go out now, there are times I'm the  
> sage and
> teacher, the wise one and the elder, the professional and wildly  
> successful
> "new age consultant".  There are also times I'm the proud freak that  
> has
> been hiding inside for so long - peeking out through the mask - only  
> now
> the mask is gone most of the time - and when it is worn, it is a  
> different
> mask - one that is much more transparent.
>
> The words for a song come to mind - "Freedom is just another word for
> nuthin left to lose."  For me that doesn't mean "things" but rather
> "expectations" and coloring inside the lines.
>
> Thanks for listening.
>
> Russ
> -- 
> Enjoy Life By Living In Joy
>
> Well Being Consultant
> www.rldwbc.com