TheBanyanTree: bittersweet

[Monique Colver]

I was never a hippie. I never wanted to change the world, I just wanted to
find my place in it. I never did, not really, and I'm pretty content with
that.

I can't change the world. I can only change myself.

I never wanted to join a movement, be a part of something, Contribute In A
Meaningful Way. I could have joined the establishment, or I could have
joined the anti-establishment, and either way, I wanted no part of it, or I
did, and then I didn't. The first half of my life was about survival.

Here's the thing. So much has improved since then. So much has not. But
that's kind of the way things go with the world. We have our setbacks, and
then we move forward again. Then setbacks.

Here's what I do: I work on taking care of the little pieces around me that
are in my control. I work on my stuff. I call people out on their stupid
stuff. And like most people, I keep going. I hope people get something from
what I write, but if they don't, I haven't failed, because I know that
usually someone, somewhere, has gotten something out of it. That's what I
do. That's really all I can do. I don't expect to change the world -- the
world is big, amorphous, and messy. I only expect to make a difference to
those closest to me, and that comes from how I treat them. I can't change
anyone except myself, and I'm fine with that.


Monique Colver




On Tue, Feb 7, 2012 at 11:32 AM, Russ Doden <russ.doden at gmail.com> wrote:

> I'm sharing some thoughts with you today simply because you accept me for
> what I am - freak or sage, angel or lost wanderer, teacher or student, wise
> man or fool.  I appreciate that you accept me for whatever I am - however
> you see me.
>
> A little while ago a friend loaned me a set of "The Folk Years" CD's and
> some other CD's for me to copy.  I haven't had a chance to listen to them
> or anything until today.  I decided to listen to them today before deciding
> if I wanted to copy them or not.
>
> I find I'm having a strange feeling listening to them.  It is bittersweet.
> I'm enjoying them so very much and WILL be copying them but it will take
> some time - after all there are a lot of discs there!  The bittersweet
> feeling is coming from a feeling of a "lost sense of innocence" of the
> era.  Back then, many of us thought we could change so much - and nothing
> much has changed at all.  The "new age" people are still working for the
> same changes the "hippies" of the era were working for then.  People that
> are "Spiritual" from whatever path they follow - Religion or whatever their
> path may be, are seeking the same things now as then - compassion and
> harmony, tolerance and acceptance, and above all peace and universal love.
>
> I wanted to shed my mask back then and join the movement - but was afraid
> to do so.  I quietly tried to be like everyone else instead - and failed
> miserably.  And here I am today - with my mask laying by the wayside,
> filled with tears and scars.  I'm older and wiser, but still wanting to
> change the world - or at least my perception of it.  I have returned to and
> even exceeded my "sense" of "being connected to all things" that was
> abraded from me by "responsibilities and duty" as well as trying to "fit in
> and be like everyone else."  I was afraid to claim that sense of truly
> being willing to be seen as being different then - and now it is worn like
> a badge of honor.
>
> Some of us back then had hopes and dreams of changing so much - and so many
> of us have become disillusioned - and so many are rediscovering their
> dreams - and being joined by newer generations that are saying the same
> things now that we said then - Give Peace a Chance; All you need is Love;
> only the words are different - the feeling is the same.
>
> So, today I won't be productive - at least not in the conventional sense.
> Instead I'll be mentally wearing my tie dye shirt and polka dot cuffed
> pants (yes I have a pair of pants like that - I had a friend of mine
> "repair" a pair of pants with seriously frayed pants and asked her to use
> some wild polka dotted material) but only because it is too cool out to
> wear them physically.  When I go out now, there are times I'm the sage and
> teacher, the wise one and the elder, the professional and wildly successful
> "new age consultant".  There are also times I'm the proud freak that has
> been hiding inside for so long - peeking out through the mask - only now
> the mask is gone most of the time - and when it is worn, it is a different
> mask - one that is much more transparent.
>
> The words for a song come to mind - "Freedom is just another word for
> nuthin left to lose."  For me that doesn't mean "things" but rather
> "expectations" and coloring inside the lines.
>
> Thanks for listening.
>
> Russ
> --
> Enjoy Life By Living In Joy
>
> Well Being Consultant
> www.rldwbc.com
>