TheBanyanTree: Mother's Day

[Tori Wilfred, Draconia Keep]

Note: This is an updated "note" I wrote a few years ago...

Mother's Day

Notice I didn't say "happy". Sometimes it isn't. And that's okay. My mom 
has been gone for almost 20 years, and Mother's Day is really the only 
day of the year that I just can't think about it. The other days I may 
think of her, and, yes, I still miss her, but Mother's Day is the only 
day I just *can't*.

Even the cards. Doug buys the Mother's Day cards for my grandmother and 
his mom. He gets me a card from him and also one from our kids, but they 
are funny and loving--not mushy.

I don't do mushy on Mother's Day.

But now that I am a mother, I love receiving the funny cards, and today 
I loved getting breakfast in bed--pancakes, sausage patties, toast with 
jelly and coffee--that Mikyla made me. So sweet and so kind. And what a 
beautiful surprise.

Then I feel guilty because I get mad because we were late for church or 
getting upset because they lost the gator keys--again! Fussing because 
their rooms aren't clean or they don't want to help feed the horses 
today. (Of course, it's cold and raining--I can't blame them! <G>) I 
feel sometimes all I do is nag at them, especially now when I get so 
tired and/or queasy from this baby due in October.

Do I spend too much time on the computer or with the horses and not 
enough time loving and being with them? Do I worry too much about all 
the things they don't have because we spend so much on the farm? Or do 
we spend too much on them (did they really need another book from 
Border's last night?) and not enough time with them?

I am always saying I don't have time, and Buggy says, "Mommy, I'll give 
you my time... ." As sweet as that is, it breaks my heart. Where does 
the time go?

But when I see that our kids are happy, healthy, doing very well in 
school, and they are kind and polite to others (if not always to each 
other! <G>), then maybe, just maybe, I'm doing something right in this 
Mothering business after all. It isn't easy, but I'm doing the best I can.

So to you, my friends who still have your moms, cherish them. To you 
whose mom is not here anymore, think of her, and for those of us who are 
moms to humans and/or equines, canines, felines, hug your loved ones. 
Today is our turn. The dishes can wait. The kids, horses and animals 
will love the extra hugs.

Tomorrow will come soon enough. Enjoy today.

Make it a "Happy" Mother's Day after all.

Hugs to all,

Tori


-- 
Tori Wilfred
Draconia Keep
Morgan Horses and Dales Ponies
Seville, OH
330-335-8247, 330-606-9955
http://www.draconiakeep.com 
tori at draconiakeep.com