TheBanyanTree: Happy Mother's Day

[Margaret R. Kramer]

In spite of the frosty morning, the temperatures rose up to 60 degrees this
afternoon with a light breeze, and lots of sun.  I decided to visit my
parents at their cemetery.

I hardly ever drive more than 10 miles in any one trip, so it’s exciting to
leave the city of St Paul and actually drive somewhere kind of far away.

There were a lot of people at the cemetery, which wasn’t surprising.  We
used to talk about going out to the cemetery on Mother’s Day in the first
years after my mother’s death in 1983, but I never went.  I thought it was a
silly thing to do.  Why go to the cemetery?  They’re dead and they don’t
care.  Now I know differently.

All the stones in this cemetery are flat to ground.  It makes it easier to
mow, but it makes them difficult to find.  I used to be able to find them
because there was a tree by their graves, but the tree died and it’s been
removed.

So I wandered around in the area where I knew they were, but I just couldn’t
find them.  I found my cousin’s grave, he died right before Ray did, so I
knew I was in the right area, but I looked and looked and couldn’t see their
flat stones.

A woman asked me if I was having problems.  I answered, “I just hate this
cemetery.”  She kind of looked at me funny.  Then I went on, “My husband is
buried at Fort Snelling, and I just like that cemetery much better.”  She
looked away and continued cleaning the headstone of her loved one.  It was
probably not the right thing to say.  I get a little edgy sometimes.

I finally found them; my mother 1983, my dad 2003, my grandmother 2000, and
my uncle 2003.  Two of the stones have vases and I pulled them out and put
flowers in them.  Last fall, Joe and I visited the cemetery, where again I
had trouble finding them, and we finally found them, we fixed the vases so
they would be easy to pull out of the stones.

I remember the Mother’s Days when my sister and my grandma would join me for
coffee and cake at Bakers Square.  We would spend two or three hours just
talking and remembering and being together.

Mother’s Day is nice, but I certainly don’t think I’m a saint because I’m a
mother.  I’m not perfect.  I made a lot of mistakes.  I still do.  I don’t
feel wise and all knowing by any stretch of the imagination.

But I’m glad I had the experience of being a mother.  I wish I would have
had more kids, although one son seems to suit me just fine.

I just checked my garden and I didn’t lose my tomato plants, but I did lose
the morning glories and the dahlias and an elephant plant I bought last week
at the Farmers’ Market.  Too early, too early.  I was seduced by the nice
weather.

I’ll replace them later this month.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at comcast.net
margaret.kramer at polarispublications.com
www.polarispublications.com
www.linkedin.com/in/margaretkramer

The body is your temple.  Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside
in.  
-B.K.S. Iyengar, Yoga: The Path To Holistic Health