TheBanyanTree: Grrrrrrrr . . .

[PJMoney]

NancyLee wrote
> I voiced the soft opinion
> that
> siblings  should try to remain together, so on that note, someone
> approached
> me about  taking in three sisters, 9, 11, 13. I dunno if I'm up to it. 

A woman I know from church (I'll call her Sue) has two children.  The elder,
a boy of about 7, is autistic.  He's high functioning but though his
outbursts can be quite charming (e.g., he'll call out "Good job singing!" if
he approves of our small congregation's efforts to harmonise) he is,
nevertheless, not like other children.  

His younger sister is about 5 and is not autistic.  She is naughty.  At
least, from what I've seen, when her mother tells her to do something she
tends to do whatever she wants.  It must be hard being so young and trying
to figure out why she should be held to rules different to those that are
applied to her brother.  

In any case, the end result is that the two together are more than a
handful.

The woman's husband (I'll call him Tom) is in the army and in December 2008
he was posted to Brisbane for a year.  The big problem for this family was
the fact that in Brisbane their son would not immediately be placed in a
school capable of catering to his special needs.  Instead he would have to
go on a waiting list.  On the other hand, in Darwin he already had a place
at a special school.  The decision they made was that Sue and the children
would stay in Darwin and Tom would return for weekends, or longer, whenever
he could get away.

By the end of 2009 poor Sue (who also has a part-time job as an occupational
therapist) was frayed way beyond her edges.  She was frazzled.  The kids
were all over the place and she seemed too tired to do anything effective
about it.  Then Tom came home and the kids began to settle.  With each
passing week their behaviour improved noticeably and Sue began to relax and
to smile again.  So I was very surprised to hear, a fortnight ago, that Tom
was about to head off to the UK for five months, on some sort of officer
exchange deal, and leave his wife to manage the children on her own again.

I feel so sorry for her.  She keeps offering the children to me for
babysitting, and only half in jest, or so it seems to me.  So I also feel
some pressure, even if only from myself, to help her out.  But even if I had
the time I'm sure I'm not up to it.

What I am up to is the job of badgering my husband to have a word in Tom's
ear, when he comes back, about the responsibility men have as fathers and
husbands.  

Janice