TheBanyanTree: Shopping for Dad

[Monique Colver]

Each year my siblings (who are issue of my father's -- I have siblings who
are not, so it's not as if all my siblings have this problem) run around
asking, "What should we get Dad?" Indeed. What should we get Dad?

I know what Dad will get me. He'll send me a Christmas card from his
collection of old cards (old as in, they were purchased many many years
ago), write a check, write Happy Birthday on the card just so I know he did
remember, and send it. This is fine -- Dad doesn't get around as well as he
used to, and he never really knew what to get anyone anyway. I'd be fine
with just a card -- he doesn't NEED to send me money.

But what to get Dad? He always says he needs nothing. He has anything he
needs. If he finds he does need something, he'll go out and buy it. This
usually happens right after one of his progeny has asked, "So, Dad, is there
anything you need?" and he's said no, he's good.

Last weekend I was in town, which is to say, the greater Los Angeles area,
to bury my Mom. My Mom is not related to my Dad, except in the most obscure
manner, in that they were once married and had two children together, but
while I was in town I scheduled a lunch with my Dad, and I asked my siblings
to go along. A couple of them, with their respective spouses and children,
did, but the brother and his wife who we were staying with couldn't make it
that day. That was okay -- we still had a majority. But before we left their
house, my sister-in-law gave me a task.

"Ask him what he wants for Christmas," she told me, "He always says he
doesn't need anything, but maybe he'll tell you."

I didn't think this was very likely, but said I'd give it a shot. I'm not
one to shirk a task, even if it does seem impossible.

Lunch was going along swimmingly, and halfway through I asked Dad, who was
sitting across from me, "Dad, what do you want for Christmas?"

He looked up at me and said, "Oh, I don't need anything. No, I've got
clothes that I never wear now, I have everything I need."

"Are you sure?"

He said he was sure, there just wasn't anything he could think of.

A sister-in-law leaned over and told me what they were getting him, because
what he had, of same item, was broken. "Great!" I said, "What else does he
need?"

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head sadly, "He won't say if there's
anything he wants."

Thanks, sis.

I hadn't really expected to get anything useful out of him anyway, but
still, there's always that little piece of hope inside that perhaps, just
this one, I could return to my sister-in-law and proclaim, "I have an
answer!"

We all left the restaurant and stood around outside, saying our goodbyes.
They may not see us again for a year, who knows? My visits are sporadic and
infrequent. My Dad pulled me aside, just a little, not an easy task for a
man with a cane and unsteady balance, and whispered to me, "You know what I
really need?"

"No, what?" I whispered back.

"A pair of slippers. Size 14. You can only find them online."

"Great," I said, totally enthusiastic. You have to understand, this was my
father telling me something he wanted, and this is very rare. Extinct
species are sighted more often.

He whispered a bit more, and I whispered back, and that was, he said, all he
really needed.

Just a pair of slippers.

After returning to my brother's house my sister-in-law met me in the hallway
and asked, "So, did you find out?"

"Yes, but I can't tell you."

"What do you mean you can't tell me?"

"I'm getting it for him. So I can't tell you."

She sighed, exasperated. "Okay, go ahead and tell me. I won't get it for
him."

I ordered the slippers that day. Now I just need to wrap and ship, though
I'm thinking slippers by themselves aren't really enough. I'll think about
it for a day or so, then throw something else in. Maybe some socks. Maybe
some See's candy. Maybe both. It has to be practical, or taste good, or he
won't know what to do with it.

Hard to believe we're even related, isn't it?











-- 
Monique Colver