TheBanyanTree: Chasing Horses

[Theta Brentnall]

Well, it's been an exciting morning here.  We rent out our pasture and 
the silly horses managed to knock down a section of fence.  So we got a 
panicked phone call from the neighbors down the hill -- the horses are 
out!  I grabbed a little bag and picked some apples from the tree as I 
ran out.  Gerry ran down to the neighbors' to help contain the beasties 
while I got some lead ropes and halters and then the fun started.  A few 
other neighbors came running and blocked off the driveways so the horses 
couldn't get out on the road, while some of the others walked the fence 
to find the hole and drag a panel of portable field fencing over for a 
temporary fix. Since the horses, for some unfathomable horsey reason 
really wanted to get out to the road instead of eating the neighbor's 
carefully groomed lawn, there was much yelling and flapping, which put 
the already excited horses into even more of a tizzy.  Once we got them 
somewhat contained, then we got down to the serious business of round-up.

There's a trick to catching loose horses. You have to wait until they 
decide no one is chasing them and oh, yeah, there's really nice lawn 
here to rip chunks out of.  And then the catching process begins. It's 
not so much a matter of chasing the horses (a futile experience if ever 
there was one) as it is meandering in the general direction of a horse.

Oh, here I am, just wandering along with an apple in my hand.  Yummy, 
yummy apple.  I'm not at all interested in you, horse, no not at all.  
I'm just taking a bite of yummy apple as I drift a little close to you 
for no reason whatsoever.
(Think Pooh, when he's trying to get hunny from the bees:  I'm just a 
little black rain cloud, hovering over the hunny tree.)  I'm not trying 
to catch a horse.  The idea wouldn't even cross my mind.  And I don't 
even have a lead rope in my hand.  Nothing in my hand but a yummy, yummy 
apple.  Fortunately, horses aren't smart enough to figure out that the 
lead rope is hanging over my shoulder, with the halter hanging down my 
back. If you don't have the rope in one hand and the halter in the 
other, right out there in front of you, well then, you just don't have a 
rope and halter at all.  Nope, no rope and halter on me. 

Then when the horse decides you might have something interesting and you 
aren't trying to catch him, he takes a step in your direction.  This is 
the hard part.  At this instant, you turn away from him and take another 
bite of the apple.  You stand there.  He stands there.  Then he comes 
over and hangs his head over your shoulder and says he wants the apple.  
Hopefully, if you've positioned yourself so it's the shoulder with the 
rope hanging over it, so you offer the apple with one hand and pat him 
under his neck, then slide the rope up and over the top of his neck.  
Whew.  Got one.  If it's the right horse, the boss horse, when you lead 
him back to the pasture, the rest will just follow along.  If not, then 
you have one down and two to go.  Unfortunately, the boss horse doesn't 
care for apples, so we got to do this one at a time.

We got the two followers back in the pasture, where they stood by the 
corner of the fence and yelled for their missing leader.  He wasn't 
impressed and was not going to surrender his freedom easily.  Until, in 
a flash of inspiration, the neighbor grabbed a bag of dog biscuits and 
shook them.  Oooooh, that sounded interesting.  She ended up running to 
the gate with the silly horse trotting along behind her, trying to see 
what was in the bag and led him right into the pasture before he 
realized what was happening.  She threw the bag of dog biscuits halfway 
across the pasture and ducked back out the gate.  She was panting for 
breath, laughing and crying at the same time.  Seems she was the one 
person out there who was completely terrified of horses.   We all 
assured her that she couldn't possibly be as scared of them as she 
thought, and she agreed that maybe she was braver than she knew.  And, 
by the way, after the horse sniffed the dog biscuits, he decided he 
didn't really like them anyway.  So disappointing for him. 

So, where was I?  Oh, yeah, reading my emails and drinking coffee, now 
stone cold.  But I've had my exercise for the day.

Theta