TheBanyanTree: It Hurt

[Julie Anna Teague]

Quoting NancyIee at aol.com:

> But, as for G who said you were not even sick, not really, I think that one
> was so terrified he denied it was life-threatening. That you beat it, meant,
> to  him, that it was not serious, not life threatening, and things
> would go on as  usual.  He would not have to face it or deal with it. 
> You beat it, so it was gone, perhaps not even there to begin with.

I so love your perspective, Nancy.  We can agree that G was not right 
to say what he said, that his words were mean and insensitive.  Then 
maybe we jump to saying the man, himself, is mean and insensitive. And 
maybe that's not fair.  You have pointed out something so important.  
We all carry stuff inside us that causes us to react in not such good 
ways, pushes our buttons, plays to our biggest fears.  Stuff that 
blocks us from expressing our true feelings and honest emotions, even 
to our own selves, and much less to others.  Many men, especially, 
suffer from the affliction of "stuffing it all down."  So, yes, maybe 
in G's world, you weren't really sick, the cancer was not really life 
threatening, you are still there, things can go on as usual, and all 
those fears he might have of an /alternative/ ending to this story can 
just be denied, like it never happened.  Still doesn't mean you should 
let him off the hook--but this sure could be a better starting point 
for open discussion than the first approach that comes to mind: "You 
insensitive idiot!" followed by a swift kick in the ass.  That might 
become necessary later, but.

Julie