TheBanyanTree: loss of a 2 friends

[Jackie]

I know I have been a really big time lurker since I came back but I 
just haven't had the energy or heart to write all the stuff going on 
in my life.
That being a subject for some future posts hopefully, I just had to 
write about losing my friend Nancy. She is the one who owned a puppet 
company in Madison, WI and was six years older than me. I met her the 
first summer after I graduated from high school and she is my longest 
life friend that I still tried to keep in touch with. She had many 
health problems including many years ago being anorexic which forever 
messed up her system but also had an immune disease and cluster 
headaches and many other things. But still she kept trying to do her 
puppet shows and live some kind of life.
I talked to her last fall for the first time in months, because many 
times if I would call she wouldn't feel good enough to come to the 
phone. Due to our financial situation last fall our phones were 
turned off for quite a while and I  just called her a few days  ago 
like maybe last Friday and left a message begging her to call me as I 
had lost the envelope with her address. Her husband is very hard of 
hearing and the last time before that I tried to leave a message he 
could get it had to be through tty and I don't think it worked.
Nancy and I were like sisters we went through many many good and also 
traumatic experiences throughout the years but still always ended up 
loving each other. We finished each other's sentences. I got a call 
yesterday from her son saying she had passed away in November I think 
due to all the medicines she has had to take all these years her 
liver finally shut down. However I had talked to her a good long talk 
that last time around agust or so. Time seems to just elude me these 
days its hard to remember when things happened.I know she is no 
longer suffering and for that I am glad because she was always in 
constant severe pain. Her son said they had two numbers for me but 
couldn't get either to work when she died and was probably when our 
phones were turned off or else she had old numbers in her address 
book. Besides my friend Anna who has been one of my best friends for 
the last 22 years. Nancy was one of the best friends I ever had in my 
life. It makes me so sad I didn't really get to say goodbye. Her son 
is now living with his Dad and said for me to call them they really 
want to talk to me. But havent been able to get them yet.

The other loss is my dear sweet kitty fawn who I have had for about 
19 or 20 years. She was such a dear sweet kitty and used to talk to 
us with little conversations. She was one of three cats we had that 
we rescued from our garage when we lived in our other house as the 
mother abandoned them. We fed them from the bottle for a month and 
used up a lot of old towels wiping their little butts. The other two 
Sid and Hoblett died five and three years ago.I cried for days over 
Sid he used to sleep with me with the covers up to his chin and 
hobblett was always daddy's girl. However the last year some of my 
other cats I have now have been picking on fawn because she is timid 
and if she runs they chase her and so she got scared to come out to 
eat and drink sometimes. I don't know if she got dehydrated the last 
few days before she died or just got old. But i feel guilty the last 
part of her life was so difficult she died about a week and a half ago.
So I have cried many tears and felt many regrets the last few days. I 
know I don't post much I will try to do better but it's comforting 
just to know you are all there. You all mean a lot to me. Well I have 
a Dr appt I have to get ready for so I must go. More later on my 
medical stuff. MY endocrinologist told me I will never get off 
insulin as my body no longer makes it and wants me to go on an 
insulin pump ... which is freaking me out a bit but he is a good dr 
and i like him. Thanks for listening to me blubber.
Love
Jackie



There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and 
cats."  --Albert Schweitzer

"Between here and now and forever
Is such precious little time
What we do in love and kindness
Is all we ever leave behind"

Carrie Newcomer

title song from Bare to the Bone ... solo acoustic CD by Bloomington, 
IN singer songwriter Carrie Newcomer.
http://www.carrienewcomer.com




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