TheBanyanTree: Weddings Part III Amendment

[Monique Colver]

My husband, while standing at the front of the church with the wedding
party, wasn't aware of what was said during the ceremony because his mind
was on other things, such as the following:

"Am I moving too much? Are people noticing that I'm moving too much? Am I
moving more or less than the person in front or behind me? Are they noticing
that I'm moving too much? Can I look at the audience? Will they give me
disapproving looks if I look at them? Am I pointing in the right direction?
Should I be pointing at Craig or the minister? Is the person behind me
parallel to me? Am I parallel to the person in front of me? Is the crowd
noticing that I'm moving? They said I can't hold my hands in front of me. It
doesn't look natural. It's unnatural to hold my hands at my side though. I
have beads of sweat on my forehead. Should my hands be clenched or should my
fingers be straight? Why is that woman singing for so long? Are my fingers
pudgy? Can the crowd tell that my fingers are pudgy? Did anyone notice that
I lifted my foot? Can anyone tell I'm shifting my feet because they hurt,
and why is this floor so hard? Why do these shoes always hurt?"

This look into the mind of one groomsman has been brought to you by the
Association for Better Weddings.