TheBanyanTree: June 20th

[Monique Colver]

Yesterday Stew asked me if I knew what day it was. "June 20th? I replied,
because I was pretty certain that it was June 20th, and that was the only
thing that came to mind. 
	He assured me that it was indeed June 20th, but that the day had
special significance. On June 20th of 2006, he had a disability hearing.
This disability hearing was a long time in coming, and proving he had a
disability was not an easy task. This was partly due to the fact that while
he was severely ill we were focused on survival and the constant work that's
needed to prove to the federal government that one is, indeed, incapable of
work, is so much like an actual job that we could barely keep up. That, and
the process is a long one, and consists of multiple denials followed by
appeal after appeal, all the while trying different avenues, so it takes
much time. It took, in fact, years. 
	Anyway, last June 20th was the disability hearing. And on that day,
he was so stressed from the waiting and the questions and having to prove
himself, having to prove his disability over and over and over again, and
the fear that he would not be able to prove it, that he cut himself. This
was a fairly common occurrence, but the length of time between cuttings had
increased, as he learned other coping techniques. On June 20th, cutting was
the technique he used, it still being the most effective for him, all that
pain dripping out of him with his blood, and then he went to court, and the
judge said, "Why has this gone on this long? This should not have gotten
this far." And there Stew was, declared disabled just like that, vindicated.

	And it was, he told me yesterday, the last time he cut. It has been
one solid year since has taken a knife in hand and used it on himself. Isn't
that the most awesome thing? I was so happy, I was so proud of him, and I
could barely believe it has been that long. An entire year. Will he never
cut again? Who knows? But it has been an entire year, and with each passing
day, that's one more day he has not injured himself. It is quite an
accomplishment. 
	He doesn't recognize his accomplishments, so I have to tell him what
they are. (I am much the same way, I suppose.) This is an accomplishment,
and he should be proud of how far he's come. I certainly am.

Monique