TheBanyanTree: Yes We Have No Bananas Today

[Dee Churchill]

Is it just me? I cannot possibly be the only person on the North 
American continent who thinks there is something really strange about 
this. Stay with me, here -- it gets tricky.

An Argentine-born artist named Cesar Saez, who now lives in Montreal, is 
going to build a 985-foot banana in Mexico and float it over Texas. Have 
we hit enough geographic points yet? The banana will be built of bamboo 
and synthetic paper, filled with helium and sailed 12 to 18 miles above 
the Lone Star state until it disintegrates in approximately one month. 
Will anyone be surprised to learn the tab for this airborne art 
cha-chings at about $1 million Canadian dollars, some of which has 
already been raised? Including "small amounts" contributed by the 
Federal and Quebec governments.

Saez is quoted as saying, "Why? Because it's possible. Why not a banana 
over Texas?"

That lame explanation would only have worked if Kinky Friedman had 
pulled off his bid for governor. In that event, a whole floating fruit 
salad -- with croûtons and walnuts -- would have seemed normal. As it 
is, if the Texas Air National Guard doesn't shoot it down, it will 
certainly provide the late night talk show hosts with a few jokes. 
"Pssst! Mr. Bush. Your banana is showing." Well, at least vice-president 
Cheney won't get in on it. Bananas don't resemble either quail or lawyers.

And what if the banana gets caught in the jet stream and sails into the 
air space of another country? How embarrassing would it be for the heads 
of state to get on the red phones and complain? "Listen, your --uh-- 
your banana is an aviation hazard." Does that sound like a responsible 
person to you? Wouldn't you, yourself, feel a bit silly if you had to 
speak that line seriously? Could you say it without snorting coffee 
through your nose?

For that matter, to whom would one complain? Does the banana belong to 
the artist? To Canada? Does Mexico own shares in it? Or does its 
encroachment into U.S. air space make it our property?

I'll tell you the truth. I think Governor Schwarzsenegger has something 
to do with this. California has been fighting fruit flies forever. You 
can figure a banana that size will attract every living fruit fly on the 
whole flipping continent. And when the banana disintegrates, where are 
all those flies gonna fall, huh? Tell me that. Heck, after a month, the 
banana might even be hanging over Florida. How's that for messing with 
the competition?

I'm just waiting for the Political Correctness Cops to get wind of this. 
I'll bet you there is going to be something non-pc about flaunting a 
banana instead of some leafy green vegetable or maybe even a monster 
spiral cut ham. In the latter case, it would at least prove pigs really 
can fly.


Hugs, Dee
The Coffee Bean Goddess
http://cbg-dee.blogspot.com