TheBanyanTree: Valentines Day

[Russ Doden]

Tree Folk

Tobies introduction to todays post (thank you Tobie) brought back 
childhood memories of Valentines Day.  It has never been a 
"favorite" holiday of mine, mostly because of those memories.  This 
was back in the 50's, a time so different from now, where "child 
psychology" wasn't so overblown or even well understood.  (Not that 
is is still understood mind you.)  During my early elementary years I 
realized that there was a "caste" structure within our culture.  It 
wasn't such a well defined concept in my mind, but the idea was 
there.  

I developed my dislike of Valentines Day because every year in the  
lower grades of elementary school, the students would all make "mail 
boxes" out of oatmeal tubes, or shoe boxes, and we would put 
Valentines cards in them.  Simple hand made cards, that we made in 
class. Each student was supposed to get a card from every other 
student.  That rarely happened.  Some students mailboxes were 
overflowing, needing to be emptied before the "appointed time" 
whenever that was.  Others had mail boxes that were very sparse.  
Mine was one of those that was very sparse.  I wasn't a popular kid, 
being shy, awkward, and a bit withdrawn. This, coupled with other 
similar experiences seemed to make my shyness, awkwardness and 
ability to withdraw into myself become even more pronounced.  

It is funny how something like that can stay with a person for so 
many years. As an adult, up until a few years ago, I continued to hold 
the cynical idea that Valentines Day was an artificial "holiday" 
developed by Hallmark (and other card makers of course) , Russell 
Stover (and all the other candy pushers) and the Jewelry cartel.  It 
was simply a scam to promote profits for the cartel. 

Letting go of that concept has been difficult.  I find I still check the 
mailbox around this day with a kind of sadness, not expecting any 
Valentines Day cards.  I was surprised to find a couple cards in my 
mailbox earlier this week.  One from a dear and treasured friend, and 
one from another friend who knows my feelilngs regarding this day.  
Last night I had a person come over for a Reiki session, and 
attached to the payment for the session was a small heart shaped 
box of candy.  I'm not a big candy eater anymore - being more 
careful about nutrition and all that stuff.  That small box of candy 
though touched my heart.  The cards I received gave me pause to 
express gratitude for all my blessings of friendship that I have.    

I'm really trying to make an effort to release that cynicism that has 
been so long a part of me this year.  I'm calling and/or writing to 
people just to wish them Happy Valentines Day.  I don't want 
anyones emotional mailbox to be left empty.  

Driving in to work this morning, a thought came to me.  I would like to 
share this thought, though it is not original - 

When we love ourselves, we give love to others.
When we love others, we give love to ourselves.

Happy Valentines Day.

Love,
Russ