TheBanyanTree: Things Parents do not want to know

[Pam North]

Now *that* is a great story!!!!!!!!!!!  :)))

On 9/30/06, Woofie <woofie at woofess.com> wrote:
>
>
> Kids get up to all sorts of naughty stuff that their parents do not
> know about until after the kids grow up. This is a good thing,
> because otherwise there would be a lot of parents who died young
> from heart failure.
>
> Well...I must clarify this a bit...I am talking about kids in the
> present generation who are not cosseted, kept in cotton wool and
> never allowed out of their front yards unless accompanied by an
> adult. Unfortunately these kids tend to be the norm now with the
> resultant effect of creating a generation of kids who are afraid of
> their own shadows...yes..I know this to be true, because they have
> just done a survey here on what kids are afraid of and the pore lil
> bleeders seem ter be scared of absolutely everything..not just the
> dark, like normal kids of previous generations.
>
> The Woofden offspring ran wild...well..iffen we had had 12 foot
> security fences and state of the art security gadgets around the
> Woofden, then maybe we could have kept them confined, but we didn't
> so they didn't stay in.
>
> At the time, we were happily oblivious to whatever pranks and other
> criminal behaviour they indulged in. As mentioned previously, this
> was A GOOD THING. Ignorance is bliss and all that:)
>
> Since they have become RESPONSIBLE ADULTS, they occasionally let
> slip some of their juvenile acts. The other night, our son and heir,
> MM, took us out to dinner. As we were all waxing mellow over the
> wine and food, he reminisced about something that happened when he
> was 16 with a friend called Daniel. Now, before we go further I need
> to explain about Daniel. Daniel has some sort of brain
> damage..congenital or hereditary, I don't know..in the old days (ie
> before my time:))), he would have been described as a bit simple, or
> silly in the head. Despite this, Daniel, although easily led by
> those with a few more neurones, was a very nice kid and we all loved
> him:)
>
> On this particular day, MM and Daniel were sitting on a hay bale.
> The hay bale was one of a stack of hay bales. The stack of hay bales
> were sitting on a site a mile or so up the road from the Woofden.
> The site and the hay bales, belonged to a local livestock feed
> company.
>
> Now, they weren't just sitting....Daniel was trying to smoke an
> illegal cigarette, that he most likely had snitched from his mother.
> Smoking the cigarette would prolly have been OK on its own, but...
> compounded by the cigarette was the fact that both MM and Daniel
> were decidedly affected by alcohol. The alcohol in question was a
> bottle of tequila..and dammit! IT WAS MY TEQUILA  that MM had
> snitched (I spent ages looking for that bottle of tequila,
> folks..could never figger out what happened to it!!!!)
>
> So there they were....sitting on a hay bale and drinking tequila.
> Somehow between the tequila and the cigarette, Daniel had an
> accident...
>
> Somehow the hay bale they were sitting on caught fire..
>
> They both tried furiously to put out the fire, but between the
> effects of tequila and the propensity of hay to refuse to stop
> burning, they were not having much luck...
>
> Very triply unfortunately, the owners of the stock feed company and
> their workers decided to drive up at that very moment. These same
> folks took one look at the now furiously burning hay bale and leapt
> out of their car.
>
> MM and Daniel took one look at the advancing posse and took off.
> Unfortunately the angry posse was between MM and Daniel and home.
> There was only one thing to do...run in the opposite direction (The
> opposite direction was a creek with only a railway crossing and no
> access to cars)!
>
> This they did and they did not stop running until they got 10 miles
> up the road to  a town called Bullsbrook!
>
> Oh well..at least they would have been sober by the time they got
> there;)
>
> --
> Best regards,
> Woofie ,                         mailto:woofie at woofess.com
>
> ***************************************************************
>
> "Woofess is right, as usual.." maxdog (Tallahassee, FL) 27/1/98
>
> ***************************************************************
>
> Website: http://www.woofess.com
> Photos: http://public.fotki.com/woofie/
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>        http://public.fotki.com/woofie/
>
>