TheBanyanTree: Things Parents do not want to know

[Woofie]

  Kids get up to all sorts of naughty stuff that their parents do not
  know about until after the kids grow up. This is a good thing,
  because otherwise there would be a lot of parents who died young
  from heart failure.

  Well...I must clarify this a bit...I am talking about kids in the
  present generation who are not cosseted, kept in cotton wool and
  never allowed out of their front yards unless accompanied by an
  adult. Unfortunately these kids tend to be the norm now with the
  resultant effect of creating a generation of kids who are afraid of
  their own shadows...yes..I know this to be true, because they have
  just done a survey here on what kids are afraid of and the pore lil
  bleeders seem ter be scared of absolutely everything..not just the
  dark, like normal kids of previous generations.

  The Woofden offspring ran wild...well..iffen we had had 12 foot
  security fences and state of the art security gadgets around the
  Woofden, then maybe we could have kept them confined, but we didn't
  so they didn't stay in.

  At the time, we were happily oblivious to whatever pranks and other
  criminal behaviour they indulged in. As mentioned previously, this
  was A GOOD THING. Ignorance is bliss and all that:)

  Since they have become RESPONSIBLE ADULTS, they occasionally let
  slip some of their juvenile acts. The other night, our son and heir,
  MM, took us out to dinner. As we were all waxing mellow over the
  wine and food, he reminisced about something that happened when he
  was 16 with a friend called Daniel. Now, before we go further I need
  to explain about Daniel. Daniel has some sort of brain
  damage..congenital or hereditary, I don't know..in the old days (ie
  before my time:))), he would have been described as a bit simple, or
  silly in the head. Despite this, Daniel, although easily led by
  those with a few more neurones, was a very nice kid and we all loved
  him:)

  On this particular day, MM and Daniel were sitting on a hay bale.
  The hay bale was one of a stack of hay bales. The stack of hay bales
  were sitting on a site a mile or so up the road from the Woofden.
  The site and the hay bales, belonged to a local livestock feed
  company.

  Now, they weren't just sitting....Daniel was trying to smoke an
  illegal cigarette, that he most likely had snitched from his mother.
  Smoking the cigarette would prolly have been OK on its own, but...
  compounded by the cigarette was the fact that both MM and Daniel
  were decidedly affected by alcohol. The alcohol in question was a
  bottle of tequila..and dammit! IT WAS MY TEQUILA  that MM had
  snitched (I spent ages looking for that bottle of tequila,
  folks..could never figger out what happened to it!!!!)

  So there they were....sitting on a hay bale and drinking tequila.
  Somehow between the tequila and the cigarette, Daniel had an
  accident...

  Somehow the hay bale they were sitting on caught fire..

  They both tried furiously to put out the fire, but between the
  effects of tequila and the propensity of hay to refuse to stop
  burning, they were not having much luck...

  Very triply unfortunately, the owners of the stock feed company and
  their workers decided to drive up at that very moment. These same
  folks took one look at the now furiously burning hay bale and leapt
  out of their car.

  MM and Daniel took one look at the advancing posse and took off.
  Unfortunately the angry posse was between MM and Daniel and home.
  There was only one thing to do...run in the opposite direction (The
  opposite direction was a creek with only a railway crossing and no
  access to cars)!

  This they did and they did not stop running until they got 10 miles
  up the road to  a town called Bullsbrook!

  Oh well..at least they would have been sober by the time they got
  there;)

-- 
Best regards,
 Woofie ,                         mailto:woofie at woofess.com

***************************************************************

"Woofess is right, as usual.." maxdog (Tallahassee, FL) 27/1/98

***************************************************************

Website: http://www.woofess.com
Photos: http://public.fotki.com/woofie/
Photos: http://www.pbase.com/woofess
        http://public.fotki.com/woofie/