TheBanyanTree: The Office Spouse

[Margaret R. Kramer]

There was an article in one of our newspapers a week or so ago about “office
spouses.”  These couples evolve out of common work and personal issues.
They’re not necessarily sexual or romantic relationships, but can be if the
“office spouses” go over an invisible barrier and add love to their
relationships.  “Office spouses” can also mean this couple are best friends,
but with more intensity than other office friendships.  Basically, “office
spouses” are close, like a married couple, and look out for each other at
work.

As I was reading the article, a bunch of office couples from my work days
jumped into my head.  Yeah, Frank and Barbara, Rick and Ann, Joy and Eli,
and Sue and Greg.  As far as I know, none of these couples took their
relationships “offline” and actually had affairs.  No, they were just good
friends at work, maybe closer than typical work friends, and usually didn’t
socialize together outside of the office.

It occurred to me while I was reading the article that I have a “work
spouse,” too.  Glen was one of the first people who talked to me when I
started at my new job.  Now we “coffee klatch” together every morning since
we are early risers and are usually the first ones in the office.

Glen and I are come from convoluted families with many steps and half steps
and missed steps.  We’re both in our second marriages.  We’re straight
arrows, neither of us smoke or drink, and we’re not part of the office
clique.  Neither of us have any interest in climbing the corporate ladder.
We’re content with the rungs we are on.

We do have our differences.  Glen is suburb and I am city.  Glen bowls and I
like concerts.  We both like baseball.  We don’t socialize outside together
outside of work.  We say good-bye at night and forget about each other until
the next morning.

I’m careful about this relationship, because we’re a small and gossipy
office and people jump to conclusions without a lot of verification.  I very
rarely go over to Glen’s cube and talk to him.  I let him come to me.  We
don’t talk in whispers unless we’re gossiping about someone in the office.
Yeah, we both LOVE to gossip!  Our conversations are very public, anyone can
join.  A few have, I think just to see what we’re talking about, and they’re
disappointed when they find our topic of conversation is not what hotel we’
re going to meet at after work, but disaster recovery, how to compile
programs, business rules, and whether or not our medical claims are being
processed correctly.  It’s hardly the stuff of romance.  However, I’m sure
we’ve been the topic of speculation around the office.  It is obvious we’re
good friends.

I tried to imagine Glen as a bed partner and it just doesn’t happen for me
and I’m sure he feels the same way about me.  I don’t get any sexual vibes
from him at all.  We have a few guys whose eyes stay right at breast level,
but Glen’s eyes meet mine and stay there, and that’s OK.  I have a good sex
life at home and certainly don’t need any more than what I’m getting.

A platonic “office spouse” suits me just fine.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at comcast.net

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
~George Carlin