TheBanyanTree: Eye Level

[Pam North]

Because my last husband was almost thirteen years younger than me, and
because he'd never had children of his 'own', I had my 'tubal' reversed in
an attempt to get pregnant.  At the time, I was *only* 38!  Fortunately, or
unfortunately, depending on one's outlook, my body wouldn't cooperate, and I
never became pregnant.

Now, at 45, divorced again, with two children in high school, one of whom is
getting ready to graduate, I wonder, "WHAT WAS *I* THINKING?!??!"  Not
counting all the divorce issues like visitation, support, etc, I wonder what
I would do with a pre-schooler now, or a child in those early elementary
grades!!  And all the ba-zillion little things that go along with spending
all your days and nights with a young child!!  I can't say I'm 'glad' I
never got pregnant, but I am content that things worked out like they were
supposed to!

Meanwhile, I really enjoy children and babies.  I've found that teenagers
are a great age and tremendous fun to hang with and be entertained by, but I
still keep a bottle of hand sanitizer on my desk lest somebody bring in a
baby for 'show and tell' for me to hold and coo over!  (With a baby in my
arms, that maternal urge to 'bounce' takes over whether I'm sitting down or
standing up!)

And then into my world came Lexi and Abbi!  Their father and I have known
each other for years and years, and just recently renewed - and bettered! -
our friendship.  Life has landed him (at 'our' age!) into the role of single
dad to a three year old, and an almost-five year old.  (WHAT WAS HE
THINKING?!?!)  And by virtue of some greater plan, I've been fortunate
enough to be able to be a part of their life, and them, mine!!  ('Cause if
nothing else, I get to 'babysit' while dad is out dating!)

Oh, the wonders of life through their eyes!!!!  No conversation is 'simple',
and life is full of questions!  All of the 'how's' and 'why's' that my teens
had grown out of, are now again questions to be answered constantly, and
repetitively!!

Yesterday I was able to abscond with them from daycare and take them to a
baseball game my son's high school team was playing in a town about an
hour's drive away.

Just the simplicity of getting them from daycare was a joy!  I was excited
parking because I knew I'd be met with smiles and hugs and surprise!
Digging in 'cubbies' for coats and lunch boxes!  Answering questions and, …
answering questions!  And the drive?  How does one explain 'almost there' to
pre-schoolers?!?!  I had to break it down with the 'big bridge'… that was
great for a long conversation about Ariel and Scuttle and whether there
really ARE mermaids in the river!  (Two of us were 'yeses', Lexi is still
hard and fast, NO!)

We sang alphabet songs and counted horses in the stables we passed.  On the
way home, we looked for stars and argued whether or not that partial glowing
globe was a sun or moon.   (Two of us were 'moons', Abbi is still hard and
fast, SUN!)

We shared M&M's, carefully picking up the ones that dropped on the
bleachers, and I watched the ballgame while they climbed on the dirt pile
with all the other kids!  I held onto the open bags of pop corn while they
ran and played, promising only to have a 'tiny little bit' if I wanted!  And
I helped whittle the rock collection down to ONE, and helped ponder whether
or not in would 'swim' later in the bathtub!!

I think I know why grandparents have such a great deal, and why they cherish
their grandbabies so much.  We raise our children, often caught up in the
moment of raising, and missing out in the moments of wonder.  Because of
'life', and all the things dealt in the rush, though we may cherish our
babies and make great memories, we still miss out on small glimpses when
we're distracted and not looking.  With age, we get some wisdom, we
prioritize, and are (hopefully!) given a second chance to experience the awe
of life from eyes only a couple of feet off the ground.

For me, it's a chance I'm 'borrowing', and hopefully smart enough to take
advantage of, and thoroughly enjoy!

Pam