TheBanyanTree: To all parents

[Sachet]

In order to preserve your sanity (what little of it that will indeed 
remain by the time your kidlets are adults) I have a few suggestions. 
Add or delete as you wish, because your mileage may vary.

* Install a handy easily accessible shut-off valve to the hot water 
heater BEFORE they reach the age of 12 or ASAP afterwards. This will 
prevent you from standing at the bathroom door and yelling for them to 
turn off the water. Hey, if they want to take a cold shower after you 
turn off the hot water (which costs more to heat, something else they 
are CLUELESS about, since it involves money and that's an alien concept 
for them as well), then fine and dandy I say. Cold water closes the 
pores and gets a body moving. Something else a teen has no concept of 
--------> moving past the speed of a snail.

* Become best friends with your breaker box. But don't label it. If you 
label it then they can run down and turn the power back on to the room 
with the TV in it, that you just turned off because you are not going to 
waste your precious breath repeating yourself ad nauseum when you know 
that they know that their bedtime is a certain time and it didn't 
magically change simply because they have to watch Jay Leno or a movie 
or a commercial or whatever else they manage to come up with for Stall 
Tactic #642.

* Get some permanent markers in order to clearly and in BIG letters 
write your name on any food that you really want to last more than two 
days after you just spent a flippin' fortune at the grocery store 
stocking up on food that would last a normal person an entire week. 
Teens are not normal and will eat anything that isn't clearly labeled 
and also comes with a death threat or loss of major privs (i.e. - car, 
computer, phone, etc.) You HAVE to find out what means the most to them 
in order to effectively threaten. [Another helpful way to protect your 
food is to put it in misleading containers. It just doesn't occur to 
them that you, a mere parent, and ancient at that, could out-think them.]

* Expect to the see the same clothes you just placed in their room turn 
up in the dirty laundry within 24 hours, even though they are still 
folded, which if they were more observant, would clue them into the fact 
that you now know that they truly can't tell clean clothes from dirty 
when none manage to ever make it into their closet or dresser. They SAY 
that they can tell what is what from the piles, but that's just another 
snow job. Just calmly take them out of the dirty clothes and return them 
to their rooms and they are none the wiser. Of course some friends might 
suggest that all teens be responsible for their own laundry at a certain 
point. Me? I personally like to be able to use MY washer and dryer when 
*I* want to, not when they decide to remember that they started a load 4 
days previously. Their minds are like sieves, which matches their stomachs.

* Arrange for a gas card for the car, that is ID'd so it's totally clear 
that THEY are the ones using that MUCH gas and it is written in blood 
that they have to pay it off each month in order to retain driving 
privileges. Or set up a gas fund of some sort with THEIR cash. This 
teaches them to plan their trips more efficiently and also that it's not 
quite as fun to be the one always doing the driving when going out with 
friends when they have to pay for the gas each time. You know this is 
sinking in, when you overhear them explain to a younger sibling that if 
they want to be driven all over God's creation, then they better chip in 
with some gas money. <g>

* Before they begin to enjoy the privilege of driving, consider 
requiring that they have to save up two months worth of car insurance 
payments, and also have a steady job in order to maintain those 
payments, because they are the reason the car insurance jumped to an 
astronomical amount and they need to understand one of the inescapable 
realities of life early on. It might make them be a bit more cautious 
while driving. Might, being the operative word. And explain what the 
term "deductible" means, and the amount, so that if they cause an 
accident, they realize that mommy and/or daddy aren't paying the deductible.

* Provide all the best study materials for the PSAT and SAT and be very 
encouraging. Also explain that scholarships DO depend on their scores. 
And that even though the FAFSA might say what mom and dad are supposed 
to pay for college, that if you don't see any studying going on prior to 
the testing dates, then mom and dad are not required to pay for college. 
Schedule the first SAT test date early in the year, so when they 
inexplicably (in their totally surprised minds) don't remember how to do 
Algebra, which proves that they didn't study, they have time to retake 
it and actually STUDY this time.

* Remember all those adorable, cute, sweet, precious pictures that you 
took over the years? Keep them handy. Make copies and store them online 
where they can't access them. You might need some for leverage one day soon.

...Sachet