TheBanyanTree: Life's Love

[maria gibson]

How do you know when the love of your life has crept upon you?  I thought I
had the love of my life.  I don't know now if it was just a love of that
life or life was breathed into that love.  It was easy, though.  Easy and
calm and just went like a deep river with almost no current.  Eventually, I
needed a riptide.  So, now I have a riptide.  And I think it's the love of
my life but it isn't easy.  Maybe it isn't supposed to be, who knows?  Maybe
I'm blind to what it's supposed to be or maybe it changes over time, those
love needs.  I don't know if I'll always have the love of my life in it but
I know in my heart it won't change that circumstance.  Don't know if the
corporeal being will remain, don't know if my bed will be forever dented by
two but my heart will never, ever be the same.  Don't know what will happen
to my soul if my bed becomes one sided.  Confused and hurt and yet happy for
now.  For now, at probably this one and only time in my life, I can
withstand events and oncoming traffic in ways I never could have before.
The imperfect thing has happened at the perfect time.  A black hole?
Limbo?  I don't know.  I've thought about it, have thought long and hard but
have come to no real conclusion.  It happened so quickly that I didn't have
time to find out this love doesn't love onions.  Could tell you other
things, deeper, things of much more consequence but have no clue what the
favorite color is and forgot that mayonnaise is a no-no until it was on a
sandwich.

It's worth it for now, this love.  The pain that has been felt, the
uncertainty endured.  Maybe the ease with which it has not been  imparted is
what has made it better.  Maybe I needed that, who knows?

Who knows?

Maria