TheBanyanTree: The Nerve

[maria gibson]

Like a roller coaster, such is life these days.  Hanging on for dear life;
slow uphill climbs with no idea of what lies beneath the steep drop that is
sure to come.  The coming is watched in dreadful excitement, the fall a sure
bet.  Lingering at the top for a pause when there is neither an up nor a
down and then.  Swoosh.  Downdowndown and down and around and clinging.
Screaming.  Up fast, down fast, curves fast.  Hoping to not let go knowing
hands will be ripped off at the wrist at any second.  Raging fear with no
time to stop and think about why and how and what's next and why and how
and.

Why.

No calming agents anymore, had to release them; small shaking hand slowly
opeing and dropping them into the pools whipping by beneath; small, round
white pills dropping like so many perfect crystallized drops of tears from
heaven.  No more fake tranquility and no, this is not a drill and not a
false alarm.  Clicks and clunks.  Hair flying with mouth wide open.  Frozen
face.  Voiceless shriek.

Such is life these days.  I hate fucking roller coasters.

Not boring.

Maria