TheBanyanTree: (no subject)

Julie Anna Teague jateague at indiana.edu
Tue Feb 14 06:58:25 PST 2006


Here sits me, pondering the vagaries of the human heart.

"I hate you!  I hate you!  As much as I love you, that's how much I hate you!" 
he screamed at me, after one particularly nasty argument.  Shocking flexibility,
this thing called a heart, both the part that is blood and beating muscle, and
the mysterious space between the cells.  What gives us the ability to bounce
back from a stopped heart?  That can be easily explained.  But what give us the
ability to soar and sink?  To hurt beyond physical pain and rejoice beyond
words?  God only knows.  Which just begs the question, what is God?  And around
we go. 

Applying reason and logic, I can comprehend the mechanisms for both
strengthening the physical muscle fibers and for improving the communication
that supposedly emanates from that place.  There are tools and techniques.  I
can deciper how to make an emotional connection through touch and action, how to
express need and not judgement, how to use my words.  But how to hope, how to
pray, how to love, heal, burn, how to forget--these things defy gravity and all
other physical laws.  They are made of the interstitial ghost-stuff that lies
between.  

I have no answers to the mystery.  I hope you weren't reading this far in hopes
of finding some, on this lovely Valentine's day.  I would say, "Ask me when I'm
ninety," but I'm not so sure, even then, that things will be made clear to me.

Julie










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