TheBanyanTree: Waves

[maria gibson]

My dreams have been so vivid of late but disappear quickly leaving me with a
taste in my mouth and an aura.  I can feel what happened in them even if I
can't remember them.  I recently dreamed of a family I knew in Okinawa, one
of my best Japanese girlfriends.  It was weird, the flavor this has left on
my tongue.

This morning I dreamed of being with my mom and Randy at the beach.  We were
in the surf about knee high when the tide went way, way out.  I turned and
saw a huge ass wave coming and told them to get a big breath, just suck in
as much air as possible and let the wave take us.  Just then it crashed over
us, the wave arcing high and allowing for one last lung full before crashing
over me.  I tumbled but it wasn't dark.  I was carried and carried but not
afraid.  I was the only one left to come up but then it seemed it happened a
couple more times.  I was never afraid and I always knew what to do but when
I came back up, I was alone. No mom.  No Randy.  No surprise to my dream
self.  It seemed I accepted it.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning and made a call I should not have made but it
was ok (?) as the phone wasn't answered.  No more bat phone as I smashed it
with a hammer and then ran the remnants through the dishwasher.  I was a
little pissed off at the time.  Sent some tearful texts last night and again
this morning and then the ill fated but unanswered phone call.  My awake
self was not surprised that the phone wasn't answered.  I don't feel as if I
had time to get my breath before it all began and I don't know if I'll come
up and get air again.  I'm going to tumble and tumble.  I don't know if I'll
be afraid but I know I'll come out.

Eventually.

Alone.

Maria