TheBanyanTree: The Boy Who Craved Attention

[Rob McMonigal]

Something I saw today at our big event at work made me think of this story
from my own childhood...

Back when I was a kid, I knew a boy who desperately craved attention. That
tends to be a trait of little kids, but he was the worst I'd ever seen. He
would always be at the front of any group, trying to be noticed, raising his
hand, jumping up and down, until someone said, "Stop it, please!" I hated
being in his group on field trips, because we knew what was going to happen.
He was so very annoying that every single person he met felt he was by far,
at such an early age, the king of rude. Most of the time when you're that
young, you're a regent of rude, but we all crowned him as though he'd pulled
the sword of exaggeratedactioncalibur from a stone of "SHUT UP!"

His parents always argued over what had made their child so ill-mannered.
When it would become too much, and the group leader, if they were really a
leader, would say anything, they'd go into the same story again, which I
still remember to this day:

"It's your fault Alan is like this, Lawrence. I would never have allowed him
the things you did as a toddler."

"Shut up, Fran! I didn't spend every waking hour with him, the way that you
did. Now you see what comes of it--he constantly desires overstimulation!"

Repeat that as many times as you like, and that was the way it was if we had
a field trip with Alan. Again and again, no matter where we went, he always
managed to be overpowering.

The problem finally ended, after a few years. Everyone piled on the bus,
Alan in the front seat, of course, for a trip to Ligonier. In a colonial
reenactment, it's best not be annoying. To the horror of his parents but to
the cheers of the rest of us, the tour guide got sick of it--and Alan ended
up in the stocks! :)

-Rob