TheBanyanTree: Raining Cats and Dogs?

[Woofie]

Hello thebanyantree,

  I don't think there has ever been any evidence that it can rain cats
  and dogs. I suspect it is just one of those crazy sayings to
  illustrate very heavy rain....mebbe somebody's dear ole moggie or
  doggie was washed orf the roof of its abode during a heavy downpour,
  or summat. As Pommies tend to keep their dogs in kennels on the
  roofs of their houses (I have pictures to prove this, somewheres or
  others....), this is quite a viable scenario.

  It does rain fish in the Northern Territory, where we used to live.
  This phenomenon upsets scientists and other rational thinkers, who
  insist that it couldn't happen. Unfortunately, it is hard to deny
  the presence of flapping fish in your back yard, where there was
  never fish before. But, we will not dwell on raining fish, in an
  effort to spare distress to any scientists on the list:)

  Nope..I has a new phenomenon ter report - raining golf balls!!!!!

  For the last 10 years or, so, golf balls have suddenly appeared in
  our horse paddock next door...never anywhere else, just in the horse
  paddock. Yesterday's tally was three, for example. Although
  adherents of Occam's Razor, we have never been able to discover a
  simple and logical explanation for their continual appearances.

  Yes, it is true that we live near a golf course, and yes, "Ahah!"
  you are all saying, that would be the cause of the golf balls! Well,
  unless there is a golfer there who can hit a golf ball over a mile
  and land it squarely in our horse paddock every time, that theory is
  a wipeout.

  "What about your neighbours?" you are asking, "Maybe they are
  hitting golf balls into the paddock?" Well, mebbe they are, but why
  only the horse paddock and why don't they retrieve their golf balls?
  These are good quality golf balls and golf balls aren't cheap. Also,
  by now one would expect to have seen evidence of such activity. Alas
  this is not the case.

  After much highly intellectual and deep cogitation, I have only been
  able to come up with two possible theories: ---

  1. It rains golf balls! Raining golf balls would be the perfect and
  obvious cause, except for one significant negative to this theory.
  Golf balls appear not only in our wet season, but also in our dry
  season. ie they appear when it is not raining! This leads to the
  second and more plausible theory:

  2. There is some aberration in the digestive processes of our
  horses. For some reason, during digestion and processing of wastes
  in the small and large intestines of our equines, waste products are
  being balled up to form perfect golf balls!!! Obviously a very
  unusual chemical reaction is occurring between the standard feed we
  feed the horses and the unique chemical composition of the dust in
  the paddock, which no horse, or no human can help ingesting, orally
  or nasally, because it is so fine and floaty (note that such dust is
  called "bull dust" in country areas of Australia).

  This latter theory satisfies all the evidence collected so far. It
  is so obvious a cause that I am surprised I didn't think of it years
  ago!! Some of the more commercially-oriented amongst you might be
  wondering why I do not take advantage of this phenomenon and start
  selling these qolf balls. The raw materials are not costing me
  anything..well..I has ter buy horse feed anyways, so the golf balls
  are virtually being produced free. Selling said golf balls would be
  a great little earner:)))

  Alas, Rusty the Bullet Dawg, LOVES golf balls!! She loves chewing
  them to pieces. In fact one golf ball can keep her happily occupied
  for hours. The need to keep the Bullet Dawg happily occupied and not
  getting into mischief must outweigh any pecuniary advantages:(


-- 
Best regards,
 Woofie ,                         mailto:woofie at woofess.com

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"The one constant in life is absurdity" - Woofie - 30/4/02
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