TheBanyanTree: Jane's Project

[Maria Gibson]

I don't think I've made any secret about the fact that I prefer older 
kids and teens to young ones.  For me it is the same as the difference 
between a slow carousel and a wild roller coaster.  The horsies moving 
up and down whilst going round and round, ok, it's got its fun aspect 
but the coaster....man.  You're strapped in and have a strong bar in 
front of ya but when you get going you find it is hard to hang on.  The 
wind whips your breath from you and the twists and turns make you grip 
the bar for dear life, doubting the strength of the safety measures and 
doubting your sanity at having signed up as a volunteer for this brand 
of fun.  There isn't much else that you can concentrate on while riding 
and the uphills seem to go up and up and up and up and you can't see 
over the other side until.......whoosh!, you are thrown down the hill at 
top speed and the next thing you know the whole of the train of cars is 
spit out into the station and the only thing to remind you of what a 
scary and hilarious ride it was is the picture of you coming down at top 
speed; eyes squeezed shut, eternal scream frozen on your face, your 
mouth as wide as it will go.  You can remember that your heart was 
racing a million miles an hour and you have fantastic stories to tell of 
almost flying right out of the car but, still, you remember it fondly.

Yeah...that's how raising teens has been for me and I wouldn't change it 
for anything.

Allen and I haven't been clothes shopping in nearly two years.  He 
always gets stuff way too big and so most of his clothes have just kept 
right on fitting him even as he grew taller.  He also has lost some 
weight so, all in all, he just hasn't had an immediate need for new 
clothes and I haven't had an immediate need for that brand of torture.  
Someone always ends up crying and even Allen can be bummed out by the 
whole thing.  But, alas, the time came that we just had to brave the 
storm and get some new duds for the dude.  Just as an aside I asked 
Allen to invite his great pal Jane along for the ride.  In the back of 
my mind I thought it would be great to get another girl's opinion and 
maybe she could be a bit of a buffer for me.  Little did I know what a 
gem this gal was gonna be.

We arrived at the mall, parked way in the back and made our way in.  
Now, let me say, we usually shop at Wal-Mart for clothes.  The last time 
I took Allen to the mall for stuff, he was in one store for about ten 
minutes and then declared that he did not fit in, did not belong in that 
kind of store.  I knew what he was feeling as I have felt like an 
impostor in stores of finer things and smaller sizes, too, and, well, I 
just really understood what he wasn't saying.  But, to the mall we go 
again, only this time we have a friend in tow, one who may know the 
paths and foothills of this mountain, one who may be our scout and 
guide.  Jane became our Mall Sherpa.

It was a bit of a bumpy start.  We roamed around looking for a store to 
throw money into but it was really awkward.  We stopped and looked at 
the directory but couldn't find the group listed as "Stores Allen Should 
Shop In" which made the task ever harder.  Finally, finally, Jane leads 
us into American Eagle Outfitters.  Within five minuets, the mood 
changed and all for the better.  After discussing some ways that young 
guys dress and things they put together and looks that might go well 
with Allen's personality, Jane let Allen know that he was in good hands, 
that she and I would do all the work and give him stuff to try on.  All 
he had to do was dutifully go in to the dressing room and come out for 
us to see how he looked.  Relief poured from Allen and I as the secret 
weapon took charge.  We looked for a pair of jeans, Jane and I.  We came 
up with size 33 and sent the still a bit reluctant Allen in.

oh. my. gosh.

He came out and looked like a new man.  His waist looked so trim, his 
patooshie looked so cute, he looked awesome and, Katie bar the door, we 
were off on a serious mission from that point on, a mission not to be 
disturbed or distracted for the next about two hours.  Yes, two hours.  
A flurry of jeans, it must have been ten pair that he tried on, went in 
and out of that dressing room.  I would never have been able to get him 
to try on a third pair let alone that many but Jane...Jane had him 
eating out of her hand.  Their relationship is truly enviable.  They are 
easy with one another, honest with one another and tenderly cautious 
with one another at just the right moments.  Next came the shirts.  Jane 
chose shirts with finesse, things I doubted Allen would like but not 
only did he love them he looked awesome in them.  She had me eating out 
of the palm of her hand, I'd have been a fool not to recognize that this 
was by far the best outcome I would never have dreamed of. 

It was amazing for me to see his reaction to his transformation, what 
just a change in clothes can do.  Allen commented that he couldn't 
believe he is a size 33-34 as the last time he shopped, he remembers a 
size 38 being too small and that he had always worn a lot bigger size 
than other kids his age.  I so knew his frustration at that point as I 
have been through it myself and it was almost painful to recognize his 
surprise, awe and trepidation at a smaller size.  He has been so active 
lately; has joined karate and stayed in band for the winter.  He has 
changed his eating habits somewhat, nothing crazy, but then I always 
encourage him that crazy isn't needed, consistent is.  It has worked and 
the payoff has been tremendous.  Even Jane kept saying "Allen, my gosh, 
whoa, you have biceps and stuff and your butt..."  He was grinning ear 
to ear.  He was funny and compliant and took to this makeover like it 
was second nature.  He was a joy to shop with and Jane was a joy to have 
along.  I tried to mostly stay quiet and chime in with compliments and 
find a thing or two.  It was funny, the looks on their faces, when I 
held up something dorky for inspection.  A couple of times Allen said 
wait, let's ask Jane when I showed him something and she was away 
looking at yet more stuff.  It was totally ok with me, it was totally 
right.  I loved their honesty and their passion and their openness.

We went to Applebee's for dinner at 10:00pm, had a great time and then 
landed in a tired but happy heap at home after dropping Jane off.  Allen 
has new clothes and I have a memory I'll always treasure.  It was 
wonderful.  It was truly wonderful. 
I don't think I've ever had more fun shopping with anyone at any time in 
my life than a few nights ago with Allen and Jane.  He came away with 
the beginnings of a new wardrobe and, I think, a new feeling about 
himself.  It wasn't easy but I was also allowed the pleasure of getting 
a cutie girl dress for Jane as my 'thank you' for all her hard work and 
cheerful nature.  I always liked this gal, she's smart and funny and 
beautiful.  She's a treasure and has been a good friend to Allen.  What 
mom isn't thrilled beyond measure for this kind of person to be in her 
kid's life?  I don't think I could ask for more or better.

Maria