TheBanyanTree: Updates...

[Sharon Mack]

Well, the clog is finally breaking up.  The atmospheric clog that has
been breaking my family down and the clog that resulted in my brain.

My 13 year old grandson is now under my legal guardianship and so far,
so good.  He seems to have adjusted well.  I let him be who he is
without too much pressure except in some social skills areas.  Here he
seems to be lacking a bit but is so bright, he catches on fairly
quickly.

He is 13...need I say more?  His father and step-mother totally
overreacted to what may have been unacceptable behavior but certainly
normal for a boy of 13 and meted out punishment way over the necessary
amount needed to get the point across.  The sad thing is that though his
mother is thrilled with his progress, his father and step mother seem
disappointed that their dire predictions have so far not materialized. 


My daughter (the one who cut me off and blamed me for things of which I
had no clue) finally talked to me.  She is very close to T.C. (the
grandson) because of her own son's relationship with him.  Dustin is 11
and my second oldest grandchild.  He can't wait to come and join us but
I had to hold him up for a minute so we can adjust.  She cried and told
me she loved me and that she hadn't meant to hurt me.  She just needed
time.  She is in therapy and I hope she sticks with it.  She never has
in the past.  She said we were both in a different place now...but I
begged to differ with her.  I am still in my place....she's the one that
changed places to the unrecognizable.  She acquiesced.  It's true! I am
who I am....I change not!  At least not the basics.

I believe in time we will be alright but I told her that there would be
a few guidelines set for us to follow.  I will not allow her to do that
to me again, no matter what.  If she needs time alone, then fine.  Say
so and I will step back.  I don't mind, but communication is a must for
these things.  Especially if (as she says) she doesn't want to hurt me.

My youngest son will be home a month early.  He wasn't suppose to be
here until August 15th but now will be here the middle of July.  I don't
mind actually, because it will give him more time to get settled, get a
job and do what he has to do to register for his classes.  It's just
that I have to do a major change around in my little apartment.

I only have two bedrooms and a bath upstairs and a living room and
kitchen downstairs (like I said, 'little').  I plan on getting rid of my
nice but hated sofa ( I hate all the flowers) and get a daybed.  I have
in mind a sort of "bed-sit" situation.  We have to move dressers to make
clothing accessible.  We need to divide closets appropriately and make
my currently feminine bedroom a bit more neutral (neutral so I can move
back in after he leaves and still feel comfortable).  So it's curtains
and bedclothes, etc., etc., etc.

But I am feeling much better.  It's funny!  Once I had "T" here with
me, my sleep patterns smoothed right out and most of my anxiety left. 
When the emergency (so-called) call came, I was never so calm or in
control.  I just hope I remain so.  Wait till I see my therapist this
Wednesday....all that I had feared (and discussed) came upon me and I
landed on my feet......won't he be surprised.  Maybe I'm not as crazy as
we thought!

Sharon