TheBanyanTree: Heart Chronicle - Blah

[Jim Miller]

The day started somewhat overcast with specks of sunlight breaking the
gloom. Possibly the gloom is in just my head. It did however, become
completely overcast later; to the point that I needed to turn on a light
in my room. For a brief time rain sprinkled my window followed by a few
claps of thunder, then finally, the skies cleared to a partial overcast.
The gloom attempted to lift, but my spirit fought the light. Now the
lights of the city sparkle below me and the clouds have lifted from my
psyche.

This is the second time this week that I've muddled through the day. I
remind myself that I've had similar days when I wasn't confined. I'm not
yet ready to blame my environment.

I have much to write about. Most of it is observations, as my life has
found its routine and stability. Staff rotates and patients come and go.
I'm still here for the duration. I need to see activity. Nearly two
months have passed since the last transplant. The dry run that I
witnessed on day five carried me up to now, but I need to see action to
remain in the faith. I need to see a successful transplant, and I can
begin to believe again. Yes, I know that it will happen. Yet there is
nothing as assuring as eye witness.

I'm not in a mood tonight to detail those things that will be
interesting. I'll keep them close and find another time soon to fill
these pages with stories and anecdotes. I've spent the last couple of
days attempting to set up journal software on my website. My goal was to
customize the look to suit my personal taste. I finally gave up today
and trashed it. My programming skills are extremely limited,
necessitating a return to basics. Some of it is coming back slowly. As
soon as I'm satisfied, I'll post the URL. I've taken dozen of pictures
to post into a gallery.

One of the nurses has taken to accompanying me off floor so that I get a
change of view. Twice we've wandered outside for fresh air. That helps.
I've asked about access to areas not open to the public. I don't want
anyone to jeopardize their job, so I'll go slowly and test the limits. I
think that access to the helipad on the roof is doable. I'll report
about that later.

Linda brought dinner this evening. Steak, baked potato, bread and salad;
a veritable feast compared to the mundane fare carted in from the
hospital kitchen. She also brought two pair of new pants and a new
shirt. I may be the best dressed patient this facility has hosted. Still
a surprise to anyone who hasn't already seen me with my IV dance
partner.

I've noticed that helicopter traffic seems to pick up on the weekends.
Some days, I haven't observed a single flight. Today, it seems like they
are coming and going at 2-3 an hour. With the 4th of July holiday next
weekend, the conversations frequently turns to talk of fatalities. How
interesting, to note those details of living that take hold of our
interest.

I'm off to watch a DVD and get to bed early.

Jim