TheBanyanTree: The Bear Revolt

[Monique]

We stop at Top Foods because I need oil for my car. I'm breaking in a new
engine, I have to be careful with it, check my fluids daily. Top Foods has a
marketing slant that includes many things in addition to the customary food
items. Stuffed bears and other critters, for example. I have difficulty
finding such an assortment in stores devoted to such things, but Top Foods
is well stocked. 

There's a bin of giant stuffed animals. These animals would tower over a
child, perhaps causing nightmares. I am unsettled myself, seeing them
confined to the big bin. We pull them up and set them so they're climbing
out of the bin, ready to make their escape. Other customers look at us as we
do so, but apparently we don't care.

We find smaller bears, stacked on a shelf, and we ask one where he'd prefer
to be. He points to the next aisle, to the Easter baskets, and so we
transport him there, and place him in a basket. Or attempt to, he's a bit
larger than the basket, but he is happy. 

We move on to another shelf of large stuffed animals; they're stacked
haphazardly, as if no thought was given to their comfort. They're upside
down, in each other's way, butts in the air and limbs askew. I set about
arranging them neatly so they're happy, and manage to knock over the display
of boxes next to them. That's okay though. Boxes are just boxes, after all.

When I'm done and the critters have given their approval we move on. A Cat
in the Hat display is horribly unfair to its namesake, but as I set about
trying to set the Cats straight I see why. The Cat in the Hat cannot, under
any circumstances, sit or stand in any way recognizable as sitting or
standing, so, in the end, they're just shoved back on their shelf
horizontally. 

Back to the bears who lost one of their own to the Easter baskets. Another
one jumps into my arms, seeking freedom from the drudgery of the bear shelf.
We wander, surreptitiously, bear clutched tightly to my chest. I'm sure no
one will notice that we're headed for the cereal aisle. Why we're headed for
the cereal aisle is a mystery, but we end up there all the same.

Bear sees his target and jumps for it. Inexplicably, it is the Captain
Crunch section. Boxes of cereal are cleared out of the way, and bear takes
his position right in the middle. Boxes are put back in around him, and bear
throws both arms over the boxes to either side of him, protecting the
Captain Crunch from those who would dare to buy such a thing.

He salutes us as we wander off, knocking one box askew, but it's okay. It
lends a certain air of carelessness, as if the entire scene were accidental
and not carefully planned.

We meander towards the checkout. We're not certain if we've been spotted
yet, but we'd rather not be banned from yet another grocery store.
Eventually we'll run out of stores, which is why the revolts are never
staged in our own grocery store. That, and our grocery store does not have a
large supply of stuffed animals.

Along the way we find a display of smaller bears, and when I look at one I
see it has a plastic pack of some sort attached to it. I look closer, and
said plastic pack should be INSIDE the bear, and not hanging outside of it.
I pick up one of his peers in an attempt to figure out the mystery of the
bear, and find that the plastic pack should indeed be inside, and that its
purpose is to make the bear snore. As everyone knows, this is totally
unnecessary since bears are capable of snoring on their own without any
problem.

Attempts to place the plastic pack back inside the bear were unsuccessful,
and he was left in the care of his peers, who all showed the proper concern
by staring at him with their beady little glass eyes.

We made for the exit, oil in hand, secure in the knowledge that yet another
bear revolt had been executed if not successfully, at least with enthusiasm.


And the car is running fine, thank you very much.

Monique