TheBanyanTree: Sex and the City

[Margaret R. Kramer]

There is no TV worth watching on Sunday nights.  I wanted a show I could
relax with, be engaged with, and yet be intellectually stimulated.  While
channel surfing one dark and cold winter night, I found Sex and the City on
HBO.  I knew Ray watched that show once in a while, but I never watched it
with him.  All I knew it was about four women and they had sex all the time.

I began watch the show that night and became completely addicted.  This was
the last season, and since I’m very slow to realize what’s hot and trendy, I
wasn’t surprised that I stumbled onto this just when it was ending.

I was a faithful viewer from that Sunday night forward until the bitter end.
Actually, a good end.  Within a few short weeks, Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte,
and Samantha became my new best friends.

That’s because I had my own “sex and the city” when I was in my early 20s.
I was a fresh escapee from my parents’ home, a college student, a part time
worker, just moved to the big city of Minneapolis, and I became friends with
the most fascinating women.  We weren’t fashion plates or part of the
Minneapolis up and coming crowd.  None of us were bone thin like Carrie.
But we were smart, eclectic, creative and we liked sex.

We obsessed about men.  We talked about men.  We exchanged men.  We compared
sex notes.  What positions worked the best?  Oral sex.  Penis size.
Everything.

There was Alice.  A large lady, a strong lady, a social worker.  She was
totally into Jim, but he kept his distance, so she had other partners to
help keep her in balance.  She suddenly decided to become a computer
programmer and while she was going to school, she became a hooker.  Paid
sex.  She started slipping down the hill.  She ended up marrying a guy who
the beat the crap out of her.

Caroline.  A clothing designer, but ended up being a type A personality
coordinating a school bus system.  Found first husband in bed with her best
friend, so set out to fuck the world.  She went to bed with any man who was
in a committed relationship.  Married second husband who withdrew into
himself.  Last time I saw her, Caroline weighed close to 300 pounds.

And Cindy who had an affair with a married man and became pregnant at the
same time his wife was pregnant.  She ended up marrying a good guy and
currently designs and sews Renaissance clothing.

And me.  Like Charlotte, believing in love and marriage and perfection and
finding “the one.”  After many false starts, I have “the one” in Ray.

I spent a fortune and bought the DVDs to the first five seasons of “Sex and
the City.”  I’ll watch two or three episodes a night.  I’m almost done
watching the second season.  Last night I watched the episodes about game
playing and fuck buddies.

We would spend hours around the small kitchen table discussing the games men
play.  Of course, we never played any games ourselves, but were always
victims.  All of us had “fuck buddies,” too - guys we used as safety valves
when things got a little too emotional.

I love the flow of the friendships.  Other than a brief spat between
Charlotte and Samantha, I haven’t seen any in-fighting on the show.
Sometimes female relationships can be very catlike, the claws are hidden,
but they are there.  Sometimes a group of females will form pairs, two women
who might form a tighter friendship within the group, which can be good or
destructive for the depending on the situation.  I love the show for the way
they criss cross the friendships among the women and no two of them have a
relationship that excludes the others.  It’s good to see the writers of this
show have a positive view of women’s friendships.

I’m not sure how the “Sex and the City” friendships will hold up over time,
but my friendships have long since dissolved.  I’m sure it’s because of
values, life changes, and simply losing touch.  The one person from that era
I do keep in touch with is Jim, Alice’s former main squeeze.  If someone
would have told me that more than 25 years later, Jim would be the one I
would have kept in contact with, well, that would have been unbelievable.

No “Sex and the City” stuff with Jim.  We’re not on the cutting edge.  We
don’t play games.  We just enjoy talking about sports and Minnesota (Jim
lives in New Orleans now).  We share a past of partying, a present of hard
work, and he has a much brighter future than I do, because he works for the
feds and will have a good pension while I’ll try to make ends meet with my
tiny little pension and my 401k – retirement with no sex and no money.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at earthlink.net

http://www.polarispublications.com
Be a star!

http://www.bpwmn.org
Business and Professional Women of Minnesota

The stars shall fade away, the sun himself
Grow dim with age, and Nature sink in years;
But thou shalt flourish in immortal youth,
Unhurt amid the war of elements,
The wreck of matter, and the crush of worlds.
~Joseph Addison