TheBanyanTree: The convenience of blaming the victim

[NancyIee at aol.com]

As a teacher, I can honestly say that parental cooperation even in the most
basics, like doing homework and coming to school, is sadly lacking these
days. 
 I have to add a little rant of my own. I used to think we can't always blame 
the parents for the acts of the children: take into account school violence 
or crookery in which the parents take the brunt of the blame for what their 
child has unwisely done.

Yet, there comes a point when the parent IS responsible, as least for younger 
children. I used to teach, but my students were handicapped, so the 
comparison isn't fair. However, lately, I have pinch-hitted as childcare person for a 
family in financial straits.

Father had surgery and is home recovering, so, no income. Mother had a decent 
job in an office, but had continueing trouble with coworkers, so, in spite of 
her being the only breadwinner, she quit.  Dhe got really lucky, however, 
when her employer gave her a month's pay severance.

She pays me nothing for daycare of her children (plural) and she says she's 
going to contact this person and that, get retrained, etc etc so she can get 
work.

The first day she had her hair done and lunched out with her hubby. The 
second day she called an employment agency and said she'd think about going with 
them. The third day she heard about a job-fair coming up and said she would go. 
The fourth day her mini van developed trouble, and instead of driving it as 
it, or getting the $200 repair done, she and hubby went out and got a new 
pickup. Granted, it was a used one, but more costly than the van, in spite of having 
lower payments. Her logic? "I got a whole month's pay."  What is she going to 
do at the end of the month, pray tell?

And, I'm watching her kids for nothing until she gets another job.  She packs 
them no food for their lunches, except grapes when she has them, lunch meat 
when she remembers, fruit box drinks now and then, and a bit of Jalapena cheese 
from hubby's lunch out.  I end up buying groceries for the kids, too. But 
what else can I do?

I think parents should have to prove their ability to parent before being 
able to activate their children-producing apparatus, much like having to activate 
a credit card or get a driver's license.

Just sign this: the daycare sucker

There, now I feel better.

NancyLee