TheBanyanTree: Ah love mah job

[Monique Young]

Just spent 45 minutes trying to get Chase Merchant Services to cancel an
account. FORTY-FIVE MINUTES.

This is how it works:

I call the number on the statement. Fortunately I am using my hands-free
headset. Press 6, press 3, press 2. All representatives are busy. Of course
they are. This is the line for CANCELLING an account, the line we don't want
to overstaff. Please wait.

Please wait.

Please wait.

This goes on for quite some time until I am disconnected without fanfare.

I call again. Press 6, press 3, press 2. Short wait, nice young man answers
phone. Asks for my (the client's) account number. I give it to him. Hold.

Wait.

Wait.

Disconnect.

I'm not sure if it's me who's offensive, or just my call.

I call again. 6, 3, 2. Please wait. Your call is important to us, but not
important enough for us to answer it.

Wait.

Wait.

Click.

By now, I've resolved to do this no matter what. If need by, I shall drive
on over there (to Maryland, no less) if need be.

I call back. 6, 3, 2. I am rewarded with a person this time. He asks for my
merchant number. I give it to him. Without a word, I am put on hold.

Please wait.

Please wait.

The phone is answered by someone who sounds as if she really does want to
help. Unfortunately, said person is NOT in Maryland, but in Georgia, and has
no access to any of the accounts. We are both mystified as to why I was
transferred to her.

I call back. (I see a theme here.) 6, 3, 2. Please wait until hell freezes
over. Thank you. Click.

I dial again. 6, 3, 2. After a nominally disconcerting wait, a person
answers. She cannot find my account, though she does have the decency to
keep me in Maryland and not send me to Georgia. I give her the client name.
Nothing under that either. "I don't even show anything under the telephone
number you're calling from," she says, and I reply, "No duh! I'm not calling
from there." I give them the phone number. Oddly enough, she eventually
finds the account. I am nothing short of amazed.

Get this: SHE CANCELS THE ACCOUNT. Yes. Or so she claims to have cancelled
it. I shall have to see about that. Not that I'm distrustful. No, not me.
After all, I have no reason to be, do I?

Batman
Back at work in the batcave