TheBanyanTree: Silly admin stuff

Tue Jan 17 06:23:27 PST 2023

I think suggesting to go every third or fourth visit would be a good compromise.  Just to give my experience…Andy and Seth get along with John just fine.  We have a lot of good “merged family” times.  However, Andy and Seth and I are really close and when it’s just me and one or both boys, there is a comfort level that leads to talking about things they simply don’t want to talk about in front of anyone but me. Not even with their grandparents, just me.  The boys and I NEED that check in time.  So yes, there are times when I want to be with my sons without John.  And he has a lot of time with his son without me there, and they, too, talk about more things than they do in front of me.  We both want the other to have relationships with our adult children, but also understand that it is simply the nature of the beast that they will be closer to their respective parent and need time to talk about stuff that will never feel comfortable with anyone else.

Just my perspective.

From: Sachet <sachet at gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2023 1:56 PM
To: A comfortable place to meet other people and exchange your own *original* writings. <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com>
Cc: Teague, Julie Anna <jateague at indiana.edu>
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: Silly admin stuff

Paul~e_e, thanks so much for continuing to keep us afloat. It’s a labor of love and I appreciate it.

As for me, I’ve recovered from Covid fine, except for the way my blood sugar will drop so abruptly leaving me weak & dizzy until I eat. Scotty had that same issue after having had Covid. We’re still waiting for him to get a fluoroscopy needle biopsy. It’s taking so long, the underlying tension is getting to me.

This morning I am battling my hurt feelings and deep annoyance over Glenn popping over to visit his daughter & son-in-law without me for the upteenth time. I can’t wrap my head around why I am not invited to go with him. I always make sure he knows he is welcome and expected to come with me when we go to Chelsea & Chad’s. It’s a given. It feels like the natural & normal thing to do.

But, he is so possessive of his daughter. Who couldn’t be bothered to visit her father for Thanksgiving or Christmas. She & I had a small dust-up over that. She began to get all het up self-righteous and thought she could yell at me. I calmly and firmly told her that I would not continue our discussion if she yelled at me. She apologized and we had an excellent discussion during which she agreed to see a counselor. She has several emotional wounds that need the help of a professional. I keep praying she will make the appointment. I keep sending small gifts and cards of encouragement, not nudgy though.

Glenn has her on this Princess Pedestal. Which also annoys me. Jim & I didn’t raise Chelsea to believe she is a Princess. Or daddy’s little princess. So, I have a hard time understanding that mindset. And, I realize I am being a bit judgmental about it. I’m working on that.

I’ve told him that I want to go visit them. It’s gotten me nowhere. I think it’s because when I have gone in the past (when we first met) Katie talks to me a lot. I think he feels like he gets so little time with her and so it’s hard to share her. She and her husband spend 85% of their time over at his parents house. And, she posts on FB about the great times they have. Along with posts about things they do with her mom. I think it hurts him a lot to be so left out.

But, he doesn’t place any expectations on his daughter or son. He says he doesn’t want to guilt them into spending time with him. I get that, but I also understand the normal level of expectations that relatives, especially parents, place on their children, specifically around holidays. By not placing one single expectation he leaves this void. And, of course they go where expectations are present. Does that make sense?

I’m really struggling with the issue of not ever being invited to visit Katie & Mason. How can I ever get to know them better if I am never allowed around them? Mason and I get along really well. As do Katie & I.

I think I should bring it up to Glenn again that it would be nice if I was invited at least every 3rd or 4th visit. What do y’all think?

On Fri, Jan 13, 2023 at 9:43 AM Teague, Julie Anna via TheBanyanTree <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com<mailto:thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com>> wrote:
Hi Robin!  I planted two zuccs last summer and started having neighbors avoid me in the street.  At one point I asked the husband what he'd like for dinner, and he replied, "Anything that doesn't have zucchini in it."  Ha.

Julie

-----Original Message-----
From: TheBanyanTree <thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com<mailto:thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com>> On Behalf Of Robin Tennant-Wood via TheBanyanTree
Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2023 10:41 PM
To: A comfortable place to meet other people and exchange your own *original* writings. <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com<mailto:thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com>>
Cc: Robin Tennant-Wood <rtennantwood at gmail.com<mailto:rtennantwood at gmail.com>>
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: Silly admin stuff

Hi Paul

I had no idea those lists of Roger's were still in existence. I think he was pretty well the lynchpin on them and without him leading the discussions they've fallen into the void.

After a couple of false starts summer has finally arrived here in the south-east. My dahlias are starting to flower and my summer vegie garden is looking great. In a couple of weeks time I'll be leaving zucchinis on people's front steps under cover of darkness. I know the rule is only to plant one zucchini, but they always look so cute and innocent as seedlings that one tends to forget that by mid-January if you turn your back on them, you'll have half a dozen torpedo-sized zucchinis lurking under the leaves.

cheers

Robin

On Fri, 13 Jan 2023 at 09:36, paul via TheBanyanTree < thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com<mailto:thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com>> wrote:

> Just poking around....
>
> Roger had me create a couple of lists for him.  They do zero anymore.
>   The lists will be deleted in a couple of weeks.  I tire of the spam
> mail.
>
> For the Tree, there were several "no mail" addresses.  Yeah, You're
> getting mail now.  If it's a invalid address it will bounce eventually.
>
> Other than that, there's not much happening over here.  I'm still
> beating Win11 into submission and I think I'm winning.
>
> paul
>
> --
> _____________________________________
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>
>     I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting
>     harder and harder for me to find one now.
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