TheBanyanTree: Saturday stories

[Gloria]

I'm not admitting to anything, but maybe you can imagine a nearly blind old
fart out in the dark with some little dog that chooses to go where there
are little brown leaves.... lots of them. Those times that I forget my
flashlight or phone or both? Hopeless. Problem is, I tend to think we
aren't going for an actual walk; we're just going to do a quick out and
back in. The moon and stars draw us into the stillness of the night and
before I know what's happening, I'm trying see poop in little brown leaves
half way around the park.

On Tue, Jan 21, 2020 at 9:19 AM Pam James <pamjamesagain at gmail.com> wrote:

> hahahhahah!!!  who knew there was such humor and horror in dog poop!?!?!
>
> I have a friend who recently widowed and got herself a dog.  We were
> discussing dog-walking as a thing she could do - except alas, she doesn't
> think she could pick up any other dog's poop.  As it is, she wraps the
> grocery bag around her hand a couple of times before she picks up her
> dogs'!!  Having Danes, I've never been bold enough to attempt it
> bare-handed....  I did once, however, when I realized that the cute little
> container of poop bags hanging on our lead had broken and been lost, go
> knock on the door of the home that Bo pooped in front of, and ask for a bag
> to clean it up!!  They owned two barking dogs themselves so I wasn't
> concerned!
>
>
>
> On Mon, Jan 20, 2020 at 3:07 PM Laura Hicks <wolfljsh at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > As a veteran dog owner, I am always prepared for a random dog poop. I
> keep
> > poop bags in my jacket pockets, my wallet, my purse, and even in the car.
> >
> > Of course, when I'm actually walking the dog, I'm nowhere near the car,
> my
> > purse and wallet are back at the house, and I'm wearing the other jacket,
> > the one without any poop bags in the pockets. So I always keep an eye out
> > for leaves. You just have to hope the poop is a nice firm one, with no
> > slime or goo, and gently scoop it up with a leaf, then throw it in the
> > nearest storm drain. I've even been known to pick it up bare handed (my
> > dogs are healthy, no worms or other parasites, that we know of) and flick
> > it into the drain, but I only resort to that if there are no leaves, and
> > the stupid dog manages to drop it onto the sidewalk.
> >
> > Laura
> > wolfljsh at gmail.com
> >
> >
> > On Mon, Jan 20, 2020 at 12:42 PM Teague, Julie Anna <
> jateague at indiana.edu>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > (Mo-om, Tobie started it!)
> > >
> > > Mostly my Saturdays are pretty normal: coffee, farmer’s market, clean
> the
> > > house, walk the dog. Last Saturday, though, one event stands out
> because
> > it
> > > was something I’d never before done, not in my whole life. Exciting,
> > > right!? Never before! See, I was walking the dog—she doesn’t walk, she
> > > runs, so this has become my exercise regimen—and we’d been zigzagging
> > > around the big park near our home for twenty minutes, running from tree
> > to
> > > tree, looking for squirrels and looking a bit deranged to anyone
> > watching.
> > > It was very cold, and so we needed to cut the hunt short and get home.
> > I’d
> > > realized at some point that I’d failed to bring a poop bag. I am very
> > > conscientious and always pick up her poop, even though sometimes I have
> > to
> > > hunt hard for it—Tansy is a five pound streak of fur, tongue, and
> > attitude
> > > in a teeny tiny puffer coat. But we’d been running around the park long
> > > enough that I figured I’d dodged a bullet on the poop front. As we
> walked
> > > home, however, she did decide to poop, and not just anywhere—she
> stooped
> > to
> > > poop in the front yard of the woman with whom we’ve been doing some dog
> > > training. (“Dog training” is a euphemistic term for what has been going
> > on
> > > with this cocky little Yorkie wind-up toy.)  Not only that, but the
> > lights
> > > were on and the front curtains were open, and I imagined Miss Jillian
> was
> > > probably looking out her window, watching Tansy poop in her yard. No
> poop
> > > bag, as I mentioned, so I was mortified. I couldn’t just walk away.  I
> > > couldn’t. It’s a cowardly and unneighborly act to leave one’s poop in
> > > someone’s yard, especially if you are being observed, which I felt sure
> > we
> > > were. I had to think, and I had to think quickly and this is what I
> came
> > up
> > > with—I mimed the act of picking up dog poop. Pulling something out of
> my
> > > pocket in a balled up hand, my back angled to the window. Bending over
> to
> > > look for the (tiny, nearly non-existent) poop. Making the sweeping
> motion
> > > of picking up a turd, tying a bag, and quickly walking away.
> > >
> > > It wasn’t my best moment. When my friend Leanna came over that night
> and
> > > asked how my day had gone, I couldn’t resist telling her.  She laughed
> > > uproariously and so then, of course, we had to physically mime the act
> in
> > > the most dramatic way possible, including the old
> mime-describing-a-wall
> > > shtick. I mean, we were laughing hard.  When I realized this incident
> > could
> > > be mined for humor, of course I told my mom the story the next day. She
> > > laughed even harder than Leanna. She, too, has a small dog that poops
> and
> > > could relate only too well to the mix of emotions I had experienced in
> > the
> > > moment.
> > >
> > > And now I’m telling you, because in the end, it was damn funny, and
> > > because a more normal person might not have gone through with such a
> > > ridiculous charade, but I’ve never been accused of being normal.  And
> > > because that was the highlight of my Saturday.
> > >
> > > Julie
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Sent from my iPhone
> > >
> > >
> > > Want to change your name, email address, or password? Or have you
> > > forgotten your password? Go here:
> > > http://lists.remsset.com/listinfo.cgi/thebanyantree-remsset.com
> >
> >
> > Want to change your name, email address, or password? Or have you
> > forgotten your password? Go here:
> > http://lists.remsset.com/listinfo.cgi/thebanyantree-remsset.com
>
>
> Want to change your name, email address, or password? Or have you
> forgotten your password? Go here:
> http://lists.remsset.com/listinfo.cgi/thebanyantree-remsset.com