TheBanyanTree: Fwd: [New post] Parkinson’s or Depression?

[Monique Colver]

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	a:hover {	color: red;	} 	a { 		text-decoration: none; 		color: #0088cc; 	} 	 	a.primaryactionlink:link, a.primaryactionlink:visited { background-color: #2585B2; color: #fff; } 	a.primaryactionlink:hover, a.primaryactionlink:active { background-color: #11729E !important; color: #fff !important; } /* 	@media only screen and (max-device-width: 480px) { 		 .post { min-width: 700px !important; } 	} */ 	WordPress.com 					 				Monique Colver posted: "Say I had one thing I could give up, either Parkinson's or Depression. This is all strictly theoretical of course. But I have several annoying things going on, and my contract allows me unlimited theoretical questions. Let's see. Parkinson's. Means I'm "			 						 												Respond to this post by replying above this line

							 										 													

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Parkinson’s or Depression?

																				by Monique Colver 																			

																																			

Say I had one thing I could give up, either Parkinson's or Depression.

This is all strictly theoretical of course. But I have several annoying things going on, and my contract allows me unlimited theoretical questions.

Let's see. Parkinson's. Means I'm even more of a social outcast than usual, causes progressive neurological damage until I'm a drooling inflexible mass in a hospital bed, maybe with dementia, and I mistreat everyone I come into contact with. My bowels are damaged, I may fall over if I'm not careful, I can easily overdo my activities and then be unable to move much. My nose runs uncontrollably, making me want to hide, I get tremors internal and external, sometimes I can sleep all day. I can be on or off. When I'm on I can get lots of things done, and when I'm off I'm as useful as a stalk of celery. Less, actually. With celery you can put peanut butter on it and have a delightful snack. There's more, but no one wants to hear that.

Hey, I saw a discussion where someone had asked if people object to the term "parkie," which people use to indicate they're part of this cool group of people with Parkinson's. I read the responses, and half were against and half for, generally speaking. If I've had a stroke we don't call ourselves strokies, do we? I'm not a fan, though anyone who wants to refer to themselves that way is free to do so. I'm all about choice. But I'm not just a person with Parkinson's.

And Parkinson's is not a cute little disease that one can tie up in a label. It's complex and debilitating and everyone with it experiences it differently. I can laugh about it, but I'm not using a cute little name, and experience with groups has taught me that just using a name does not bind us together in any sort of way.

Also, I don't do well in groups. Like I said, I'm accustomed to being an outcast. I am only in groups peripherally, if at all, and I'm never the person people think of when they want to do something with the group. Or without. Could be all the drooling.

Depression, on the other hand, is puppies and rainbows. It can take away the will to live, the excitement of doing new things, the comfort of...existing. It can turn into anger, sadness, crying, self-doubt, and thoughts of suicide. It's deadly. That's just me though. Since I've had it forever and it can also come with Parkinson's I feel doubly blessed. When it shows up, I think about it, I get sad, I start researching suicide (not how to do it, but like studying economics - how does it work and why) and I fight it. I'm told I can't, but I persist in it because life is hard enough.

So given that choice, I'd get rid of depression. Depression can kill, if not physically, emotionally, socially, cheerfully. It can strip away all we know of human interaction and leave us as puddles of nothing, convinced we're unloved, unwanted, and useless. We become self-absorbed because all we can think of is ourselves and our rather negative outlook. In that state, who cares about others? It takes our laughter, and that's something I really enjoy. Parkinson's may make it harder to laugh, but it can't take the joy away. So yes, depression. That would go. I can figure out the rest as I go, especially if I don't have depression trying to get in under the canvas to the big top.

Fortunately Marijuana is useful for both. I'm off Parkinson's meds because of it, and I sleep better also. And it helps with the depression because, whether I like it or not, there's no choice to be made. I get what I've got. Everyone gets something after all. At least I know where the train is coming from, and I know where it's headed.

Meanwhile, once I get through January, I'll think of some more fun things to



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																		Monique Colver | January 27, 2020 at 7:18 am | Categories: Uncategorized | URL: https://wp.me/pljUz-9w																	

																 															 																

																	

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