TheBanyanTree: I got his!!

[Dave]

Thanks Jeri.
On Nov 27, 2015 8:23 PM, "Jeri Xiques" <jer.xiques at gmail.com> wrote:

> Great story, Dave!  Thanks for posting.
>
> Jeri
>
> On Fri, Nov 27, 2015 at 4:36 PM, David <dseaman77 at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Spin, “I got this”, cornfield.
> >
> > A Kia Soul is basically a box with wheels directly under the occupants of
> > the car. Hitting a pile of snow at 65 mph in one of these vehicles has a
> > very predictable outcome. Why there was a pile of snow on route 12 two
> > miles out of Kankakee Illinois, when the rest of the Illinois highways
> were
> > clear, is something the snowplow driver would have to answer. It was his
> > pile. He did leave it for us.
> >
> > I’ve lived my entire life in the northern half of the temperate deciduous
> > forests and grew up driving in the snow. My father grew up driving in the
> > snow. His father grew up driving in the snow. My snow driving expertise
> is
> > my heritage. Only I wasn’t driving.
> >
> > Spin, “I got this”, cornfield.
> >
> > Alyssa was driving. I was tired of driving so Alyssa was driving. Alyssa
> > is a 23 year old hippie who has limited experienced driving in the snow.
> > But, there was no snow, not on the roads, so I felt safe. So did the
> hippie
> > girl more than thirty years my junior.
> >
> > I am a nontraditional student at a community college over run by twenty
> > something females and at the ripe old age of 53 have somehow acquired a
> > vast army of twenty something female friends. The college offers jobs,
> > classes, projects, and clubs to interact with other students. Over the
> > years this army multiplied into a force to be reckoned with. My Facebook
> > feed looks like a constant music festival is taking place. But Alyssa is
> > the only hippie. Maybe the only hippie in Illinois. Maybe the last hippie
> > in the world.
> >
> > Spin, “I got this”, cornfield.
> >
> > The inevitable outcome of the Kia Soul hitting a pile of snow at 65 mph
> > would be the flip. The roll. A top heavy box somehow going end over end
> > hopefully coming to rest on what would be left of the tires. This was the
> > direction we were heading. First the shock of the snow pile. Then the
> spin.
> > The Kia turned 180 degrees, and at that point Alyssa decided she wasn’t
> > ready for the next 180, grabbed the wheel, and shouted, “I got this!”,
> > gaining enough control enough to guide the Kia into the adjoining
> cornfield.
> >
> > This caught the attention of the snowplow driver, who, probably feeling
> > responsible, came to our aid, explaining it was possible to push the car
> > out of the cornfield to the side road that ran perpendicular to the
> highway.
> >
> > “I’m sorry. You look sturdy enough to do such a thing. I’ve spent the
> last
> > thirty or so years abusing my body with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and
> > Netflix. I’ll call a tow truck.” But he was adamant. He had won Alyssa
> over
> > and she was very persuasive. So was her friend Erica, who was asleep in
> the
> > back during all of this.
> >
> > Erica is not a hippie. She’s more like a vampire. And a thin stick figure
> > of a girl who worked out her sudden bout of panic attacks by helping
> Alyssa
> > push the Kia across the couple hundred yards of snow covered cornfield to
> > the side road. I helped in the limited fashion my sad state of a physical
> > body would allow. In the end none of us could speak through the coughing
> > and spitting.
> >
> > Dear Alyssa,
> >
> > Navigating my piece of shit Kia out of a 360 spin without flipping it,
> > landing upright in a cornfield with no damage, and no one hurt, was
> nothing
> > less than extraordinary. If I’m ever lucky enough to hear you announce
> that
> > you’ve “got” something in the future, I’ll know to be ready to experience
> > greatness.
> >
> > Thank you,
> >
> > Dave
> >
> >
>