TheBanyanTree: I got his!!

[Jeri Xiques]

Great story, Dave!  Thanks for posting.

Jeri

On Fri, Nov 27, 2015 at 4:36 PM, David <dseaman77 at gmail.com> wrote:

> Spin, “I got this”, cornfield.
>
> A Kia Soul is basically a box with wheels directly under the occupants of
> the car. Hitting a pile of snow at 65 mph in one of these vehicles has a
> very predictable outcome. Why there was a pile of snow on route 12 two
> miles out of Kankakee Illinois, when the rest of the Illinois highways were
> clear, is something the snowplow driver would have to answer. It was his
> pile. He did leave it for us.
>
> I’ve lived my entire life in the northern half of the temperate deciduous
> forests and grew up driving in the snow. My father grew up driving in the
> snow. His father grew up driving in the snow. My snow driving expertise is
> my heritage. Only I wasn’t driving.
>
> Spin, “I got this”, cornfield.
>
> Alyssa was driving. I was tired of driving so Alyssa was driving. Alyssa
> is a 23 year old hippie who has limited experienced driving in the snow.
> But, there was no snow, not on the roads, so I felt safe. So did the hippie
> girl more than thirty years my junior.
>
> I am a nontraditional student at a community college over run by twenty
> something females and at the ripe old age of 53 have somehow acquired a
> vast army of twenty something female friends. The college offers jobs,
> classes, projects, and clubs to interact with other students. Over the
> years this army multiplied into a force to be reckoned with. My Facebook
> feed looks like a constant music festival is taking place. But Alyssa is
> the only hippie. Maybe the only hippie in Illinois. Maybe the last hippie
> in the world.
>
> Spin, “I got this”, cornfield.
>
> The inevitable outcome of the Kia Soul hitting a pile of snow at 65 mph
> would be the flip. The roll. A top heavy box somehow going end over end
> hopefully coming to rest on what would be left of the tires. This was the
> direction we were heading. First the shock of the snow pile. Then the spin.
> The Kia turned 180 degrees, and at that point Alyssa decided she wasn’t
> ready for the next 180, grabbed the wheel, and shouted, “I got this!”,
> gaining enough control enough to guide the Kia into the adjoining cornfield.
>
> This caught the attention of the snowplow driver, who, probably feeling
> responsible, came to our aid, explaining it was possible to push the car
> out of the cornfield to the side road that ran perpendicular to the highway.
>
> “I’m sorry. You look sturdy enough to do such a thing. I’ve spent the last
> thirty or so years abusing my body with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and
> Netflix. I’ll call a tow truck.” But he was adamant. He had won Alyssa over
> and she was very persuasive. So was her friend Erica, who was asleep in the
> back during all of this.
>
> Erica is not a hippie. She’s more like a vampire. And a thin stick figure
> of a girl who worked out her sudden bout of panic attacks by helping Alyssa
> push the Kia across the couple hundred yards of snow covered cornfield to
> the side road. I helped in the limited fashion my sad state of a physical
> body would allow. In the end none of us could speak through the coughing
> and spitting.
>
> Dear Alyssa,
>
> Navigating my piece of shit Kia out of a 360 spin without flipping it,
> landing upright in a cornfield with no damage, and no one hurt, was nothing
> less than extraordinary. If I’m ever lucky enough to hear you announce that
> you’ve “got” something in the future, I’ll know to be ready to experience
> greatness.
>
> Thank you,
>
> Dave
>
>