TheBanyanTree: A Tale of Four Bagels

[Theta Brentnall]

And then there was Cookie.  She was a Border Collie who also had a 
deprived childhood and therefore never, ever had enough to eat.  Even 
when she was so stuffed she could hardly move.  She could do a standing 
high jump up to the countertop, could open the lower cabinet doors and 
drawers.  The refrigerator defeated her, so we kept things in there that 
no one would imagine needing to be there, such as flour and sugar.  The 
microwave was also beyond her skills, although I suspect if it ever 
occurred to her to move the stepstool over to it, she might have managed 
it.  For the duration of her life with us, all food was kept on the top 
shelves of the upper cabinets, in the fridge or microwave, which some 
people thought was a funny place to store fruit and bread.

She'd have loved a cheese bagel.  Heck, she ate hot dipping sauce for 
potstickers.

Theta

On 3/20/2012 1:30 AM, Robin Tennant-Wood wrote:
> Ah, yes. The Case of the Missing Bagels - or food of any sort, really, is one that was quite common at our place when Merlin was around. Merlin was a tabby cat we adopted from the local cat rescue place a couple of years ago. He had had a very troubled kittenhood (which is how he ended up at Cat Rescue in the first place) and as a result was always on the lookout for the next meal. Even though he knew the next meal would arrive in his bowl at the properly appointed time.
>
> His capacity for stealing unattended food was so great that we bought a breadbox with a lid he couldn't lift due to lack of opposing thumbs. We call it the Merlin-proof breadbox.
>
> Despite his perpetual need to seek food, Merlin was one of the nicest and sweetest-natured cats I have ever known. He just oozed kitty charisma and was universally adored in our menagerie.
>
> Alas, he fell victim to a snakebite this Summer and died some weeks later, but we (and our other pets) have learnt many lessons from him.
>
> We still remove all food from temptation and the Merlin-proof breadbox is a permanent testament to his mission. I'm not sure he ever stole a cheese bagel, but he'd have given it a try.
>
>
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On 20/03/2012, at 6:40 AM, Monique Colver<monique.colver at gmail.com>  wrote:
>
>> Not beagles, which are another thing altogether. I don't even know 4
>> beagles. I'm not sure I even know one.
>>
>> Last week I decided I needed a bagel. This sort of thing comes over me now
>> and then,a sudden swishing wave of need. Last week I had many such needs in
>> addition to bagels. Chocolate cream pie, lemon meringue pie, pistachios,
>> potatoes, salmon, chicken, steak . . . it was never ending.
>>
>> The charming husband was going out for errands, which is convenient since
>> I'm not sure I left the house at all last weekend. "Bring me a bagel from
>> Panera," I said, as he headed out, "Or better yet, bring me four."
>>
>> "What kind?"
>>
>> "Surprise me." I love surprises.
>>
>> He returned with four bagels, two onion and two cheese. I was in heaven. I
>> toasted one onion bagel and then put butter and cream cheese on it. It was
>> a truly awesome bagel. I can only eat one of those suckers at a time -- I'm
>> really not trying to gain 20 pounds in 20 days, there's no competition or
>> anything. So I left them on the counter, the onion bagel alone in its
>> plastic bag, the two cheese still together in theirs.
>>
>> Later I went up to work. I do this often, since I like to pay rent and eat.
>> Charming husband went out again -- the man has many errands to run. And all
>> was quiet in the house.
>>
>> I try to take advantage of this.
>>
>> I should have been suspicious. Surely I know better -- when it's quiet
>> around here it's either because everyone is asleep, or someone's getting
>> into trouble.
>>
>> Later Andrew came home, and I went downstairs.
>>
>> There were no signs of the cheese bagels anywhere, other than a plastic
>> bag, and a paper bag that the plastic bag, with its bagels, had been in.
>> And they were both on the floor.
>>
>> There was not a crumb of cheese bagel anywhere. Not one.
>>
>> Both dogs were questioned, of course, with Ash and his usual, "What?" and
>> Honey with her, "I can't believe you'd actually ask me that question."
>>
>> I suspect Ash, of course, since he's the one who's always anxious to
>> demonstrate his food acquiring skills. Such skills may come in handy after
>> the zombie apocalypse, I suppose, when food is hard to come by, but right
>> now it's not really an issue. Given his history with food management, I
>> watched him closely. If I'd eaten two bagels at once like that I would for
>> sure have some stomach distress, and his stomach is even more sensitive
>> than mine.
>>
>> Hard to believe, I know.
>>
>> But nothing.
>>
>> He still denies any participation in the theft of bagels.
>>
>> Oh, and I ate the second onion bagel before he could get his little paws on
>> it.
>>
>>
>> M