TheBanyanTree: I Torture You Because I Love You

[Monique Colver]

So I said to my dog, the incomparable Honey, this morning. She's getting a
little hard of hearing, and I can see the glassy cataracts in her eyes
which explain why she doesn't seem to always know where she's going.

But neither do I, and I have no such excuse, so it's no big deal.

Anyway, she'd just follow in the footsteps of the incredible Rex, who
walked around for several years totally blind but never stopped going where
he was going, wherever that was.

She's on anti-inflammatories and pain killers, twice a day, to combat the
arthritis in her back legs which made her back go all wonky. Since she's
been medicated she's become younger, happier (I would be too, if I weren't
in pain), bouncier. She's forgotten that she's 14.

Last night we let them into the house, but she didn't come in sedately, as
befits a grown dog of 14. She pounced into the house, then pounced a few
more times as Ash followed her in, and he jumped on her, and she pounced
back at him, and they pounced their way into the large area of the living
room for a wrestling match.

A short wrestling match, since she doesn't have the stamina she used to
have.

As for Ash, he's still worried about having to step around her when she's
blocking his way, as if this elderly dog will somehow hurt him. Well, she
could, if she wanted to, but she never would.

This morning we were out of the little snacks that we use to give Honey her
meds. She's very particular, and has become even more stubborn in her old
age, if that can be believed (I know, who would have thought?) Her default
if I stuff things down her throat, which I used to do with aplomb, is to
fight back. It's the chow in her, and the old age, and the idea that "I'm
too old for this crap." Last time she bit me, though not so's you'd notice
after 20 minutes. Hurt though. We found snacks that can be molded like
taffy, and we sink the pills into a piece and mold it around them, and she
eats it as if it's candy.

But this morning we were out, and so I tried bread. She's always loved
bread, and it's moldable, right?

She took the bread from me quite willingly, and then popped out first one
pill, then the other.

I tried another piece of bread. Maybe I needed to smoosh the pills in even
more.

She took the little lump of bread and then spit it out. And then again.
Andrew tried to stick some of Ash's snacks in it, as if that would make it
more appetizing.

Again she spit out the little lump of bread, which was by now becoming
quite an attractive piece of . . . something.

"She'll have to wait until later when we can get to the store," Andrew
said, since we were both scheduled to be at work soon.

But no. I will not admit defeat. I took the bread lump and teased out one
of the pills, straddled Honey from behind, held her jaw with one hand, and
shoved the pill down her throat.

Then I picked up the soggy bread lump and looked for the other pill. For a
minute I thought it was gone altogether, but then I found it. While I
shoved this pill down Honey's throat Ash grabbed the bread lump, now just a
soggy saliva-ridden piece of what was once bread, and gulped it down. He
doesn't care.

I gave Honey a hug, and I told her, "You're not going to be in pain, even
if I have to torture you."

I think there's a lesson in there somewhere, but I can't see it right now.


Monique Colver
Colver Business Solutions
monique at colverbusinesssolutions.com
www.colverbusinesssolutions.com
(425) 772-6218