TheBanyanTree: Better Pain

[auntiesash]

Well - I'm glad the pain is better... for you, of course, and for all of us
who enjoy your stream of consciousness writing.  Pain constricts the flow
and don't think for a minute we don't notice.  We just don't want to
complain cause, well, you're in pain and everything.

um...

By all of which I mean to say "It's nice to have you back on your branch,
typing in our direction...:

- sash

On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 11:16 AM, Monique Colver
<monique.colver at gmail.com>wrote:

> There’s worse pain, and there’s better pain, and I’m currently experiencing
> better pain, though it sounds worse than it is. Or does it sound better?
> Less pain, that’s what I mean. I’m not trying to say that I’m a masochist
> and the quality of the pain is suiting me nicely, thank you very much. Not
> that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m totally on your side if you’re
> into pain. I won’t be inflicting the pain because I’m not a sadist either,
> but yeah, whatever makes you happy.
>
>
>                After a weekend wherein both legs decided it would be
> fitting to punish me for my lack of attention to their needs (whatever
> those might be) I’m quite happy to have less pain now. As if the
> fibromyalgia by itself isn’t bad enough, one knee is also inflamed and has
> been for weeks. I think the anti-inflammatories are starting to kick in
> though, just in time for the Thanksgiving Marathon.
>
>
>                This isn’t a real marathon, in case you were wondering
> where to sign up. It’s the standing in the kitchen type of marathon.
>
>                I wonder how people with real pain, as opposed to my whiny,
> self-indulgent pain, deal with it. I can well imagine how frustrating and
> annoying it must be, as well as painful. For weeks I’ve been consigned to
> keeping off my bad knee, keeping my legs elevated when possible, and
> cutting down on my trips up and down the stairs. I went to Las Vegas in
> this condition, knowing it was a bad idea, but committed to a work
> conference I didn’t want to miss. When I returned home three days later my
> right knee was twice the size of my left, but the conference was worth it.
>
>
>                Since then, my efforts to keep up the appearance of
> occasionally taking care of my house have been stymied. I’m fortunate that
> I have 1) a desk job, and 2) a desk job in my own house, so I can keep the
> traveling to a minimum. How do people not as lucky as me deal with it? If I
> had to go to a job every day I’m pretty sure I’d be damn bitchy about it.
>
>
>                Yes. I’m pretty bitchy anyway. It’s always “me, me, me, ow!
> My legs hurt!” like anyone cares. And really, how bad can it be?
>
>
>                I am extremely lucky in my pain. I may wonder when it will
> ever end, if it will ever end, because sometimes it seems to go on forever,
> but that passes, and each day I decide that the next day will be a better
> pain day, and that I will wake up cured.
>
>
>                Over the weekend, when it was at its worst, I really missed
> running. I haven’t run in years, and I don’t really wish to return to it
> now, but the idea of it sounded very appealing, and that’s because, no
> doubt, I couldn’t do it at all. I used to run, and once, when I was quite a
> bit younger, I was even fast. I’m no longer fast, and I hobble more than I
> walk.
>
>
>                We’re often like that, I think. When we can’t do something
> we weren’t that interested in to begin with, we wish we could do it. It’s
> the possibility of it that we miss more than anything else.
>
>
>                I don’t, however, wish I could date again. I’m so happy to
> never have to go through that again. And high school. There’s something I’d
> never want to repeat. Talk about pain. But running? That wasn’t painful,
> and while I wasn’t thrilled about it overly much after high school, I
> could, and did, do it. Wishing I could again isn’t because I miss running,
> it’s because if I could run, that would mean my legs weren’t all washed up,
> and if my legs weren’t all washed up, I could do a lot of other things that
> are hard for me now. Like exercising – I’ve had to stay off the recumbent
> bike for a few weeks so it sits there in the corner of my office, all sad
> and forlorn, and I’m thinking that in the next few days I’ll give it a shot
> again. It misses me so, after all.
>
>
>                To everyone who has pain, I wish you less of it, whether it
> be physical, mental, or emotional. Whether you have pain or not, I ask that
> you not inflict any pain on yourself or others. Life has enough pain in it
> all by itself that we don’t need to make more of it. Everyone gets their
> share, fair or not, and if there’s anything I could do to alleviate yours,
> I would. Not to get all sentimental on you or anything, but you often don’t
> know what pain others are in, so keep that in mind.
>
>
>                Let’s avoid causing pain of any sort, because there’s
> certainly enough to go around already. Instead, let’s see if we can
> alleviate pain. It may not make it all better, or any better, but at least
> we won’t make a bad situation worse.
>
>
>                Anyway, we’ve got Congress for that.
>
>
>                Sorry. I had to slip that one in there. I could just use
> the generic term government though. All the same to me.
>
>
> Monique
>



-- 
You are a fine person, Mr Baggins, and I am very fond of you;
    but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all!”

“Thank goodness!” said Bilbo laughing