TheBanyanTree: Those Bleedin' Swedes!

[Woofie]

Today I thought I would make my new son proud. My new son is an IKEA
junkie, but I have never been to an IKEA store. I did try once with
Krazy Kiwi, but it was shut. Today we had to enlist KK's help, cuz
Spouse's passport got soaked in water in the car, which means he has to
fill out another passport application and pay lots of money for a rush
job to get a replacement before he flies out next weekend. KK was needed
to witness it.

To kill a number of birds with one stone we decided to meet up at IKEA,
cuz we wanted a broom cupboard thingy and KK hadn't been to IKEA in ages
and I wanted some of their Swedish meatballs. I had been introduced to
these delicacies by my niece and nephew-by-choice who live and work in
China. Yes folks, they have IKEA stores there too. My niece and
nephew-by-choice are also IKEA junkies and so I also wanted to know what
turned sane people into IKEA junkies.

Thankfully KK did not drive to the IKEA store dressed as an octopus -
yes another story which I will tell when I get hold of the evidence;)

Folks, have you ever had one of those nightmares where you are stuck in
a maze of tunnels and you are running and running and trying to find a
way out, but it doesn't matter which turn or tunnel you run down there
is no way out. You are absolutely terrified because hideous creatures
are pursuing you, but there is NO ESCAPE!

Well, that is exactly what an IKEA store is like, except it is much much
worse! It is full of loud crowds of people pushing and shoving and you
can't directly to an exit or directly to where you want to go in the
store. You have to follow a winding maze through every other dept to get
somewhere. To make it worse you can't see across the store as all the
displays are full height to the roof. You just have to keep following
these arrows in sightless tunnels and go with the crowds of thousands
who are also trying to escape the maze.

I can now fully appreciate how Skinner's rats felt:(

Many hours later we finally found our way out of the maze and would you
believe it the bloody store that sells the meatballs and other yummies
is right next to the exit! Unfortunately, you cannot bypass the bloody
maze to go direct to the food store section - you can't sneak in the
exit - you got to go in the entrance and spend hours in the maze to get
to the meatball place - BAH!

There is NO way that the Woofess is ever going to venture into that
Swedish torture maze ever again! Thankfully, KK has offered to brave the
nightmare and supply her with meatballs in future:) I hope she goes
dressed as an octopus with battering rams in her tentacles and knocks
down the bloody walls of that maze as she goes!!!

And I never got to figure out what causes IKEA junkies....must be one of
those divine mystery thingies...

Woof, feeding her face with meatballs and cream sauce:)
PS...the broom cupboard? They bleedin well doan sell broom cupboards!

-- 

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"The one constant in life is absurdity" - Woofie - 30/4/02
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