TheBanyanTree: Annoying Sales People

[Monique Colver]

So I bought some toner for my fabulous HP Color Laser, the workhorse
printer. There's nothing worse than getting ready to print a 50 page tax
return in triplicate and find out there's not enough ink.

Well, yes, actually, there is.

Car accidents are worse, and herpes, and a lack of ice cream, and tornadoes
and hurricanes and volcanoes. Hunger and unchecked rage are worse. Zits are
worse. So consider my "nothing worse" more along the lines of "really
irritating."

So I bought some extra black and magenta from the toner sales woman who
recently joined my Thursday group. It's recycled, or remanufactured, or
something, and since I recently restocked my yellow and blue, or whatever
those colors are, I got the black and magenta. I brought the boxes home,
which sort of remind me of wine boxes and not toner boxes, and put them in
the corner until needed. It's not as if I needed them right that minute. I
just don't want to run out and not have any on hand.

The week after she handed over my toner in the parking lot of the Grant
House where we typically lunch on Thursday she asked me how the toner was
working out.

"I haven't opened it yet," I said.

"Oh, well, okay, just let me know when you do, I want to make sure it works
out for you."

Typically I don't worry about my toner working out for me. I just open it,
stick it in the printer, and it starts working for me. HP has never once
called me to see how it's working out for me. Not once.

"I'll let you know as soon as I know," I told her.

She called today and left a voicemail asking me to call her. I said "Oh
bother," because previously she called to set up a time for us to get
together and then cancelled when she had an accident the same day I had
mine. Except in her case she was at fault, and in my case I was nowhere near
my car.

I called her back when my 4:00 didn't answer the phone.

"How's your toner working out?" she asked.

"It's sitting in the corner in the box rather well," I said.

No I didn't.

"I haven't opened it yet," I said.

"You haven't?"

Apparently the woman feels I've been dishonest with her. How can I not have
opened it up, even if just to give it a trial run?

"No, I haven't run out of toner yet."

"Oh. Well, when you do, please let me know how it works out for you."

"I will. See you Thursday."

Like, she could have asked me then, y'know?

I've adopted puppies with less follow-up.

And what if it doesn't work out for me? Will I be sitting here with a 50
page tax return in triplicate waiting to be printed, and no toner? I feel as
if I should have backup toner for my backup toner. Her follow ups are not
inspiring confidence. Is she expecting a problem? Is she just so new to the
recycled toner business she has nothing else to do with her time?

I like to call my clients at random and say, "So, how's that payroll working
out for you? Make sure you let me know!"

This toner better work, once I get around to needing it.




-- 
Monique Colver