TheBanyanTree: understanding motivation

[NancyIee at aol.com]

I  formerly was a Special Ed teacher and learned a lot of different ways 
people  might be motivated. Some were motivated by food, a treat for a job 
well done.  Others just wanted praise, acknowledgement.  Some were only 
following  directions, a programmed motivation. Once in awhile, my students might 
be  highly motivated by mere accomplishment. "I can put my shoes on all by 
myself  and tie them. Next, I will button my shirt without missing one 
button."   Simplistic?  Perhaps. But, I learned more from my students than they 
ever  learned from me.
I was also a child advocate in the court system where I then lived. It gave 
 me the opportunity to meet people outside my comfort zone, have privy to 
their  intimate lives, to learn what made their family work, or not work, to 
explore  their relationships and then figure out if I could make things 
better. And I  learned I had the power to do so, through the courts.
 
I learned that being nice took less energy than being mean. Truth-telling  
took less concentration than to lie. I learned that walking took more time, 
but  you saw more things, than taking the car. I learned that drama took 
more effort  than just knuckling down and getting it done. I learned that 
losing the temper  cost more friends than swallowing the difficulty. I learned 
that always getting  my own way was more  lonely than giving in and letting 
someone else  win.  I learned that when the world won't stop for a second, 
going into a  deep pink room made it all better.  Better yet, a hug was a magic 
 cure.
 
What motivates me?  I really don't need motivation. The mere joy of  doing, 
of learning, of exploring something new is motivation enough. Motivation  
is calling a friend, and accepting the invitation to do something I thought  
would be boring, to later find I had fun. Motivation is not being afraid to 
try  something new, yet being as comfortable in being just the same old same 
old.  Accepting things as they come along, for every day is a present. 
Every task an  adventure. Every boring meeting a chance to meet someone 
extraordinary.
 
I find writing the best therapy. It enables me to go places I will never  
see, become acquainted with people I will never meet. And, it spurs me to 
learn  new things so that my characters become better and more full. They say 
you and  only write about what you know, well, if you don't explore, read, 
travel, do  research, then you will know nothing, and have nothing to tell.
 
And music, is the thread that holds it all together.
 
What really motivates me?  I doubt it is fear. Fear of what? Getting  old? 
Not getting old?  Life, and all its living is what motivates me.
 
NancyLee

I have  pretty much always been motivated to do something with myself, 
in  different areas of my life.  Right now I'm working through the  
training course to become a Certified Personal Trainer, and I'm giving  
a lot of thought to motivation.  What motivates me?  What  propels me 
out the door for a run when it's 90 degrees and 80 percent  humidity?  
For that matter, what motivates me to work hard, pay my  bills, eat 
right, try to be a good person?

Husband thinks that fear  is the biggest motivator.  I agree, but only 
about some things. Some  fear definitely motivated me to do the things 
it took to support myself  and my kids--get through college, get a 
decent job, live within my means,  save some money.  I didn't want to 
repeat my parents'  situation.  My childhood gave me an ingrained fear 
of being  financially insolvent and it has been a powerful motivator.

And  although I could look at exercise and life style motivators from 
that  angle--God knows most of my family serve as examples about what 
not to do  to avoid avoidable heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and loss 
of  mobility--it is something more powerful and positive than fear of 
these  debilitating diseases that keeps me going.  It is joy.  Sheer  
joy.  Joy that I can move and run and feel good in my body and heart  
and mind.  The very act of moving makes me happy.  Throw in a  deep 
woods hike, a swim in a cold lake, a run through a green canopy with  
deer ahead of me and an owl overhead, or rollerblading on a trail  
through a green wildflower meadow with red-wing blackbirds flitting and  
trrrrreeeting from stalk to stalk.  Throw in a purifying sweat and  the 
clearness of mind I feel when I'm working hard.  Throw in an  
opportunity to be with my husband when we can actually talk (and walk,  
or peddle) without the idiot box blaring at us or the computer  
distracting us from each other.  Throw in a hard challenge and the  
sense of personal power and accomplishment from meeting it head on.   
Throw in (and all of!) these things, and it makes my whole self, my  
whole life, happier.

This stuff that comes from inside me are my  intrinsic motivators.  But 
there have to be extrinsic motivators too,  things outside myself, 
reasons to do it when I don't want to do it,  basically.  Because some 
days I really don't want to get out there  and run in the heat.  Or the 
cold or the rain, the humidity, the  bugs, you name it, it just all 
seems awful and not doable.  Some days  I'm too tired after a long day 
of work to throw in a dvd and hoist some  weights around.  Maybe I don't 
feel like going to yoga class and  doing vinyasas until my arms and legs 
are screaming.  But there are  those extrinsic motivators that come into 
play: health and mental well  being, a muscular body, better functioning 
organs, a good poop (sorry, but  s'truth), a better night of sleep, the 
ability to indulge in a little ice  cream or pie without thinking about 
it too much.  These are good  things.

And how does understanding these things about myself inform my  ability 
to motivate others if and when I become a Certified Personal  Trainer 
and get a client or two?  I can certainly share my intrinsic  love for 
it. If you hiked with me, or did some other workout, or just  listened 
to me yammer on about a good run, I think you would see that it  is what 
I deeply love doing.  But probably no one who naturally feels  this way 
needs a personal trainer.  They are most likely out there  doing it on 
their own for their own heartfelt reasons.  And if there  are only 
extrinsic motivators, if working out is absolute grudge work but  they 
know they have to do it, then that gets into the whole fear  thing--fear 
of not being healthy, fear of being obese, maybe even fear of  dying?  
Too much fear is not a good long term motivator.  Fear  causes stress.

How do I become a motivator who can help people develop  their own joy, 
either through learning to love running (or whatever) or  through the 
experience of improved health and well being?  This is a  rhetorical 
question, and something I'll be studying more about in my  course work 
as well as giving some deep thought to, but of course, if any  you have 
thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them!

I am clear on  this one thing: that I have a strong desire to help 
others.  And  after evaluating my own strengths and where my own joy 
lies, I think this  is a way I can help people lead healthier more 
energy-filled lives.   I have the passion to do it, I just need to 
figure out how to share it in  an effective way without being an 
evangelist (which some of you know I  have a tendency to be ;)

Thinking out  loud,

Julie