TheBanyanTree: Quasi-performance/pseudo-freshness

[Pam Lawley]

oh sash - I LOVED this story!!!  And I love how Monique added her own story
to it!!!!  And I'd say that in the tree, but it seems it would
nepoliptically gushing!  :)

anyway... quacomole is one of those things that I'll probably never learn to
make since nobody in my house but me would eat it - and why bother?  Remind
me when I next visit - one of you can make it for me while *I* watch!


On Fri, Feb 25, 2011 at 6:41 PM, Monique Colver <monique.colver at gmail.com>wrote:

> What our sash failed to mention is that I am one of those who uttered those
> words, "They make it right at your table," which seemed to me, at the time,
> to convey something, though I'm not sure what. I'm not a huge fan of On The
> Border. Some of it is okay, and some of it seems as if it's a vague sort of
> attempt at an ill-defined food group that is most certainly not Mexican.
> (But it is, isn't it?) But I do love me some guacamole, and they do make it
> at your table, and I'm not sure why. So we can see what's in it? Perhaps
> that's not such a bad idea.
>
> "Hey! I'm allergic to peanuts!" Helpful if peanuts are standard in
> guacamole, which they aren't.
>
> Not only that, but guacamole is best when it's had a few minutes to meld
> together, all those disparate ingredients.
>
> I am a victim of marketing. When they (and they is vaguely defined) tell me
> something is good I accept it, because why would they lie? I'm too
> trusting.
> "We make it in front of you!" So what? Well, they do start with whole
> avocados, which is how I start when I make it. In fact, I make pretty good
> guacamole myself, so why even bother with them?
>
> Last year when we were in California we stayed at my brother's house, and
> they had a bag full of ripe avocados sitting around. People do down there.
> They come off trees, and they hand them around like us less fortunates hand
> around zucchini. Not that there's anything wrong with zucchini, but it's
> not
> avocados, which is definitely a strike against it. My sister-in-law claimed
> she didn't know what to do with them all, "I don't know how to make
> guacamole," she said.
>
> Really? It's not as if it's complicated. So she asked me to do it, to make
> up a big batch for the family coming over later. The pre-funeral family
> thing.
>
> So I did. First I couldn't find the knives. They have grandchildren, so
> apparently they hide the knives. I eventually found something that would
> work well enough. Then I couldn't find a cutting board, only a small glass.
> My kitchen is full of knives and cutting boards. I theorized that perhaps
> she just doesn't cook as much. Now that all the kids have moved out it's
> just the two of them, after all.
>
> Andrew and I made guacamole. Onions, garlic, salt, pepper, a bit of salsa,
> lime. It's not as if it's complicated after all.
>
> I didn't make it in front of anyone for their viewing pleasure. But it
> still
> seemed to be satisfactory. Would it have been better if I'd waited until
> everyone showed up then made them stand around me in a semi-circle while I
> made it?
>
> No doubt. Then they could tell me how I was doing it wrong, and wasn't that
> too much or too little of something, and what was that neat trick with the
> knife anyway?
>
> No, I think it best I not have an audience. Then again, unless I'm doing
> cartwheels or stand-up I find I do best without an audience, and cartwheels
> are all in the past. So's stand-up, for that matter, but you never know.
>
> Let's go have guacamole next week. You're all invited. Let's see if the
> table side performance adds anything or if we're being taken for a ride.
>
> Monique
>
> On Fri, Feb 25, 2011 at 2:21 PM, auntiesash <auntiesash at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > For the second time in as many days, I have heard(*) the sentence "They
> > have
> > great guacamole. They make it right at your table!"
> >
> >
>