TheBanyanTree: Valentine Fever

[Margaret R. Kramer]

I read a review of Joyce Carol Oates’ new book, A Widow’s Story: A Memoir,
which will be out on February 15, 2011.  Her husband died quickly and
unexpectedly from an infection, too.  She describes her feelings, “My
husband died, my life collapsed.”

Exactly.

I love her fiction.  Sparse, intense, edgy.  She’s a best-selling author.  A
professor at Princeton.  And her life collapses because her husband died.

Exactly.

No matter how well put together we are, the death of our spouses leaves us
as limp and useless a rag dolls.

And tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  A day to celebrate love.  I made the trip
out to the cemetery this afternoon.  I left Ray a Valentine and some candy
sugar hearts.  Kiss Me.  Good Baby.  Sweet Honey.

I saw a few red plastic or silk roses by various grave stones.  Several
Valentine shaped balloons were fluttering in the wind.  Oh, these are
special people who are still so loved and remembered.

The wind is a warm wind, too, coming from the south.  The sky is clear and
blue, and the snow is seriously melting off of my roof.

We’re supposed to be in the 40s for some of this week.  I wonder if enough
snow will melt that we can see the ground.  Wouldn’t that be a treat?

The dogs are asking to go outside constantly this afternoon.

I stood in the sun for a few moments; I wasn’t wearing a jacket, and I let
my skin soak up its rays.  What a wonderful sensation.

My alcoholic neighbors are going in and out of their house.  I think they’re
giddy because they can sit on their porch again and chain smoke while they
watch TV, If their deck wasn’t piled up with snow, they probably would be
setting up their lawn furniture and grilling, because those activities go
well with drinking alcoholic beverages.

Asher is going to Costa Rica tomorrow for 10 days.  He works with my cousin
and my cousin is taking his sales team to the Caribbean.  Asher is not real
thrilled about it, because he’s kind of a home body at heart, but hey, it’s
a paid vacation in a warm climate.

Quincy has about a million basketball games today.  The regular season has
ended, now they’re having tournaments.  Believe it not, Quincy had a
basketball game (he’s in 6th grade) at 9:00 pm last night.  Isn’t that
ridiculous?

Now today, they have at least one game at 5:00 pm.  What happened to Sunday
as a day off from those types of activities?  My son played sports, too, but
they never had any game or practice on Sundays, ever.

All these organized activities have really gotten out of hand.  I rarely see
kids just spontaneously outside playing anymore.  When I was a kid, we made
forts, go-carts, set up tents, brought out our dolls, and played lots of
pretend games.  Without our parents!!!!

Asher used to play baseball, street hockey, football, ride his bike, go
sliding in the winter, and shoot baskets on his hoop hanging from the
garage.  Without his parents!!!! 

Now it seems like I only see kids outside with their parents glued right to
them.

But, I digress.  After Quincy’s game, Asher and the boys are coming over for
a Valentine’s party dinner.  Spaghetti and chocolate hearts are on the menu.

It’s not the same as if Ray were here, but it’s OK, because I know Ray is my
Valentine.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at comcast.net
www.linkedin.com/in/margaretkramer

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.      
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning